Breathe You Out, Breathe You In
by taylorcullenforever
Summary: Bella is in the grasp of her sadistic boyfriend. As she struggles to stay alive and find freedom and love. She meets the Cullens. As Bella and Edward grow closer he finds out her hidden secret. But can he save her or will she die? R
1. Preface

My life has never been good.

It has always sucked. Or at least I had thought so until everything went ape-shit.

Thinking back a few years before, I could remember when life was nice and beautiful and worth getting up for in the morning.

If three years ago someone had told me that I'd be where I was today, I wouldn't have believed him or her.

If they'd told me I would be drowning under the control of my sick boyfriend, I wouldn't have believed it. Not for one million bucks.

If they'd told me I would end up almost dying more than ten times, I wouldn't have believed it.

But if they would have told me that an angel would be sent down to me from the gates of Heaven I would have smiled and shaken my head.

This is my life:

My name is Bella Swan. I am 18 and have been being abused by my sadistic boyfriend for almost a complete year. I am still attending high school while trying to hide all the bloody bruises I have sprinkled all over my body. But not only am I being physically abused by my boyfriend, he is sexually abusing me.

All I want is to be free. To find someone to love me and protect me.

Will I ever be free? Will I ever find someone? Will I ever find love?

Will I ever see the light?

God only knows.

* * *

**This is hopefully going to be a new story and this is just the preface but i was wondering what you guys thought of this. **

**Should i continue??**

**Review and let me know!**

**Hit that button, you know you want to. :)**

**-taylorcullenforever**


	2. Under My Skin

1

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter One:**

**Under My Skin**

**Song: You Found Me - The Fray**

Jake held me in his arms, my back against his chest as he breathed in and out.

Whenever he moved or I did—though I didn't dare move unless necessary—the bed would squeak a little.

Getting me a glance from Jake. The one thing I did not want to see was his face. Looking at his face made me want to curl up in a ball and die.

I can feel how rigid my body is and as Jake rubs his hands over my stomach slowly, I try to will myself to relax.

Thinking about someone else holding me, anyone but my abusive boyfriend that scared the shit out of me.

I close my eyes and remember happier days; ones where I was free.

I could remember being with Charlie on a fishing trip when it was just he and I.

I was trying to get this one particular fish and I had to stand up to maneuver myself right over him.

I threw my line into the water, a big piece of bait on the end.

He took it and I tried to get him, rocking the boat.

I fell in and lost the fish.

"Bella?" Jacob said, his voice rough. I cringed and feared I had done something wrong.

Had he been talking while I was in my reverie? Oh God, what if he had been?

"Yes," I replied, trying to keep my voice even and loving. He moved under me and I moved with him trying to keep things light and happy.

"Can you go make me something to eat?"

"Of course." I answered, slowly sliding off his chest. I stumbled off the bed, making sure I didn't fall.

The floor beneath my feet was cool and familiar. I stopped at the stairs, something in me slowing down.

I descended down the stairs leisurely, so that I could hear Jake moving around my bedroom.

He was probably searching for anything he could use against me—a reason to get mad and hit me.

When I thought about it hard, I really do think that Jake gets off from hitting me. I bet he sincerely enjoys watching me suffer and die slowly. What a sadistic asshole.

The kitchen seemed bitter as I reached it. My pastel hands reached out in front of me till I felt the metal of one of the dinning chairs.

Holding my breath, I sat down, and tried to not be so sad.

Being sad depressed me even more. If that's even possible.

Looking around my empty house, a sense of terror and wretchedness washed over me like a tidal wave.

Using my breathing exercises, I tried to keep my breathing under control as I let my head drop into my hands.

I didn't sob this time, thankfully. But the tears that did spill over the brim of my eyes left little dark spots on my gray shorts.

I could see a yellow bruise from awhile back, peeking out of my shorts.

Pulling my shorts up my leg, I poked at it and watched it turn different colors. This one I'd earned from talking back to Jake.

A lesson I'd learned.

My pale legs stared at me mockingly and I got up, knowing Jake would be gravely livid if I didn't have the food done soon.

I decided to make pancakes—which just happened to be Jake's favorite food.

He never tired of these and he always told me that I made the best pancakes ever when I did make them, which was often.

I dug through the cabinets, gathering up the ingredients. I was going to make them from scratch this time.

I heard Jake move around again and I wondered if he would find anything.

I tried to think of anything he would find. Homework, make-up, hair things.

No, I had hidden my _stuff_ from him.

I had to be sure that there was nothing to make him mad.

Jake being mad equaled a good beating for me.

Making sure I had everything—flour, dry milk, salt, eggs, and cooking oil—I started making the batter.

I put the heat on to medium-low heat and put the skillet on the stovetop.

The water droplets in the skillet start to bubble so I started pouring the pancake batter in.

All I had to do was wait for them to turn brown.

I started humming myself the tune of a song that was stuck in my head.

_Where were you?_

_When everything was falling apart_

_All my days were spent by the telephone_

_It never rang_

_And all I needed was a call_

_That never came_

_To the corner of first and Amistad_

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lying on the floor_

_Surrounded, surrounded_

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Just a little late_

_You found me, you found me_

Digging into the refrigerator, I got myself a glass of Coke. Pouring the liquid all the way to the rim.

Its caramel color swirled and caught my attention.

Not waiting for the bubbles to fizz away, I took a needed gulp. Quenching my thirst.

I invited the cold sensation—I got when drinking Coke—to flare on my tongue and in the back of my throat.

Flipping the pancakes, I saw that they were becoming a light brown. They would turn out perfect.

Jake came down the stairs and I instantly stopped humming.

I downed the rest of the glass of soda then smiled at him, beckoning him to come over to me with my finger.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck gingerly. Biting only once.

This was the sweet Jake I had fallen in love with so many months ago.

I winced at the bite but said nothing as I flipped his done pancakes onto a plate. They were steaming but a perfect dark brown.

"Those look good." He commented but his voice was clipped.

My breathing intensified and my gut told me to run while I could.

I slapped butter onto the pancakes and cut them up into pieces before pouring on the syrup.

Turning around, I realized I was trapped between his arms.

Shit, please don't hurt me.

Please, not today.

"Here they are." I said, smiling. I stood up on my tippy-toes to kiss him but met his hand.

As my cheek and his hand came into skin-to-skin contact, a cracking slap vibrated through the house.

I wrenched back, pushing the skin on my back to dig into the counter.

I threw the plate down onto the counter trying to be careful.

The pain was obvious but I ignored it as I looked around, hoping to find a way to escape.

My skin stung and burned and tears began pooling in my eyes without my consent.

My free hand reached up to touch my face. I could feel the lumps where his finger marks were forming in swollen bumps. It would still be there tomorrow. For sure.

Jake chained his hand around my wrist, jerking me.

Gripping too tight.

"Jake," I pleaded, trying to get him to take a step back.

I needed air.

I needed protection.

God, help me.

"It's in the afternoon, Bella. Do you really think I would want pancakes at 5 in the afternoon?" His words slammed into me with such force that it knocked the air from my lungs.

I tried to breathe but found myself choking on fear.

My hands tried to find their way to my throat, to relieve the pressure.

"I—I—they're your favorite." With this he slapped me again and on the same cheek. I hissed out in pain, the stinging blazing twice as bad now.

I put my hands up in front of my face, thinking that would stop him. He slapped them away then continued to slap my face.

Over and over and over.

I let my legs collapse under me so that Jake was standing still and I was crawling away from him.

I was lucky enough to get a head start and I ran up the stairs.

I fall.

Jake runs up behind me and grabs me, punching persistently.

My lips break open and I can feel my eye coming to a close from the swelling.

He punches my face, arms, boobs, and legs: everywhere.

I scream and scream for him to stop.

He doesn't.

He stops punching me and instead grabs my arms, shaking me.

I scratch at him and he only shakes me harder.

I bend over and bite down hard onto his arm.

He cries out and pulls back.

I start to crawl backwards, my legs endlessly pushing with all their might.

I'm not fast enough.

Jake punches me one more time and I feel myself losing control of my body.

The next thing I know, Jake's throwing me down the stairs.

My hands try to break my fall and I topple on them, my head banging into the sharp edges of wood.

My legs get caught under me and I fell myself air born for a second before my head comes back down, thumping against the wood with a crack.

I roll once more then feel myself laying belly down on the floor.

I groan and gasp for air, my throat refusing to work.

Jake takes his time coming down the stairs, studying me intently.

I try to fold myself into a ball but the pain is too excruciating. I stop moving and cry out, clawing at the pain where my ribs are.

The pain is under the skin and I can't make it stop.

I writhe and squirm begging for someone to make it go away.

Jake turns me over with his foot, so that I'm lying on my back.

I screech out from the twinge of tenderness but he just smiles at me.

Like nothing is wrong.

What the hell is wrong with this bastard?

He grabs my hand and pulls me up. I grind my teeth together to keep from screaming as he does so.

"See what you made me do?" What the hell, Jake!? I sure the heck wasn't the one that made you throw me down the stairs!

I nod and he kissed me.

My lips are numb.

A prickling sensation crawls under my skin as he touches my face roughly.

"I'll see you later, Bells." He says, pulling back.

I nod and stand there, only standing upright because Jake's holding me.

He lets go of me and I wobble, almost falling.

"I love you." Jake says to me when he's almost out the door.

"I love you, too." I whisper. My voice dead and emotionless.

He closes the door.

I drop to the floor.

* * *

**My first real chapter for this story.**

**I know it's super depressing but i promise as it gets worse it will also get better.**

**Yes. Jake is Jacob Black. He sure the hell is.**

**Let me know what you thought**

**and if i should continue **

**Thanks!**

**-taylorcullenforever**


	3. Whispered Voices At My Ear

2

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Two:**

**Whispered Voices At My Ear**

**Song: Sleep by My Chemical Romance**

Waking up was the last thing I wanted to do. The last thing on my list of to-do things.

I lie in bed, not moving, as the fan above me blew cool air upon my burning body.

I was thankful for a moment such as this one; the air still, the silence peaceful, and my mind not on Jake.

Reaching up to my window, I pulled back the blinds to show that it was a sunny day today.

The strong but murky light reached out to me, dancing across my bare legs. And I stared at it, smiling slightly.

The sun meant there was hope. Hope that today would be a good day.

Hope that I might get out of this mess.

Charlie was getting ready for work and I could hear him bang against the wall as he attempted to put his shoes on while walking down the stairs. I'd seen him do it often.

My throat was dry and sore like someone had taken a bottle of acid and trickled it down the lining of my esophagus.

I swallow roughly and sighed as I watched Charlie lock the door and get into his cruiser. Starting it up and driving away. Far away from me.

My body was so very sore, to the point where I could barely move without almost screaming out in pain.

Despite my suffering, I had to go to school.

Which meant that no matter how much pain I was in, I had to go.

I took in a deep breath then I grabbed a shirt from the side of my bed. It was blue and plain—a nightshirt—that I'd put there the night before for this very purpose.

I rolled it till it was in the shape of a floppy cylinder. Folding the edges over each other, I stuffed it in my mouth. Concentrating so that I got used to breathing heavily through my nose.

Slowly I moved my legs.

The pain from everything, previous bruises, my legs being asleep, and the soreness from yesterdays beating, flared and poked daggers in me.

I bit down on the shirt, crying out.

My face was turning red from all the force I exerted out to move my body.

It took me ten minutes to finally have me sitting up. But I was proud of myself.

I was crying and still reeling from the pain but I was doing well especially after the brutal and ruthless beating yesterday.

Now if only I could stand up easily.

I turned my body—still biting down on the shirt—till my legs were dangling from off the side of the bed. The back of my feet running across my mattress.

The bottom of my feet touched the floor and I knew what I was going to have to do.

I placed my clammy hands behind me, feeling the crumpled up sheets, and I pushed myself up completely.

"Urgggg!" I groaned out but kept walking till I got to the bathroom. I pulled out a bottle of pills from the mirror cabinet and took two.

I had been give the pills from Angela for when I'd broken my leg a year before.

The pills were knock-you-out-if-you-take-more-than-you-should painkillers. They worked immediately after you took them and worked for hours.

Within minutes I could no longer feel the pain or soreness.

Gazing up into the mirror I saw my battered face and wanted to cry.

My cheek was still a dark pink and the welts of Jake's fingers were still lightly traceable.

Last night I'd slathered a large amount of Arnica ointment on my face seeing as it was miracle gel. It was for trauma and bruises and provided temporary pain relief. It took away the worst of all the bruises so that no one ever got too suspicious that it wasn't just my clumsiness causing such damage.

This time it couldn't fix everything just over night.

Covering my face with my hands, I escaped from the bathroom.

Escaping the ugly girl suffocating me.

Searching through my closet, I couldn't find anything that would cover up all my bruises.

I looked through the dirty laundry bin and found that I'd already worn all the "hiding" clothes I obtained.

Panicking, I realized I couldn't go to school without hiding all the marks.

No one could see them.

Suddenly, Jake's voice was whispering in my ear.

_You tell anyone or let anyone see the bruises I leave on you, I __will__ kill you. __I swear I'll do it__. _

Remembering those words, I shuddered and started panicking even more. On the cusp of hyperventilation.

I shook my head and rubbed my temples with my fingers willing myself to pull it together.

I went through my closet again.

Pulling on a back tank top, I studied myself in the wall-length mirror I'd got a few months ago from Jake. Realizing that if I put on jeans and a jacket or hoodie I'd be okay.

I slipped on a matching black hoodie along with some jeans and flats.

Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I grabbed my school bag.

Throwing the bottle of pills in there just in case.

Even though the sun shine, today was going to suck.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

My truck growled the whole ride over to Forks High and I smiled, loving the familiar sound I'd grown accustom to.

I pulled into the parking lot, slowing down as a car passed in front of me. I parked into a decent parking space and checked myself in the rear-view mirror.

I still looked like crap.

The halls were packed when I got there. People were mingling and crap was everywhere; loose papers sliding across the linoleum flooring, cups of coffee were sitting along the wall.

Gripping my bag to my chest, I grimaced, and dodged a group of football players just before they'd trampled me.

Lauren glared at me from her locker and mouthed "whore." Her pink lips formed the word slowly.

I frowned but kept walking.

Reaching my locker, I spotted a couple right next to me making-out. I gagged.

I got what I needed and quickly escaped the couple just as Mike came walking up beside me.

Hey!" He said, his shoulder brushing mine. He took one look at me and gasped, his fingers reaching out to touch my face. I pulled back a little.

"What happened to you?" He asks.

"Nothing, I fell the other day. That's out. It was just really bad." Mike wasn't fooled and I never did promise to lie well.

"You sure you're okay. It looks _bad_, Bella." Concern leaked from his voice and I suppressed the need to scream out.

"I'm fine." I sigh. "So what's up?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Nothing. Jessica keeps asking me all these questions." He shrugs.

"Like?" I ask, glancing at him. I saw Jake down the hall, speaking to Jessica.

"She keeps on asking me if I like you." I laugh and Mike looks hurt.

"Sorry." I said honestly.

"Why is she always asking me that?!" I leaned toward him as we stopped in front of the class room.

"She likes you. That's why." I walk into the room with Mike following me.

"Do you like me, Bella?"

"No, Mike. Not like that." His face falls and he takes his seat.

I pass by Lauren and she flicks me off. Eric says "nerd" and Jessica mouths "fucking slut" Jakes looks at me and says aloud:

"My bitch." I feel the need to cut off his balls.

I just might.

I sit down and open my Algebra spiral, trying to forget the comments.

"Cocksucker." Someone calls out and everyone looks at me, laughing.

I blush bright crimson.

Fuck this shit.

I can't take much more of this.

_Fallen angels at my feet; _

_Whispered voices at my ear; _

_Death before my eyes; _

_Lying next to me I fear; _

_She beckons me shall I give in_

_Upon my end shall I begin? _

_Forsaken all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end._

* * *

**I wasn't planning on putting this chapter up till Monday **

**BUT...**

**I'm leaving tomorrow to go see my family and i wont have access to a computer.**

**At all. This makes me want to cry my eyes out.**

**Anyway, **

**REVIEWWWWW and make my day a little brigher! Tell me what you thought of this chapter!**

**Bellas going through some serious shit.**

**Thanks! Love you guys,**

**-taylorcullenforever**


	4. So I Thought

**CHAPTER IS RATED M; SEXUAL CONTENT**

* * *

3

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Three:**

**So I Thought**

**Song: Snow White Queen by Evanescence **

Parking the truck, I grabbed my bag, hoisted it up onto my shoulder, and got out.

The rain was pouring down but I stood where I was, tilting my head back.

My hair darkened as the wetness clung to it. I placed my palms out in front of me, catching small puddles.

The rain splattered against my skin, making me look paler than usual.

When I was almost soaked, I ducked my head and scampered off inside the house.

Charlie wasn't here—yet—so I was all alone.

I didn't mind.

Dropping my bag onto my bed, I wriggled out of the hoodie and switched my jeans for thigh high shorts.

It felt unbelievably good wearing a tank top and shorts; two things that didn't swallow me whole.

I stood by the stairs, not exactly sure what I should do with myself.

I bit down on my bottom lip, looking around the house as if waiting for an answer.

Pfft.

I shook my head, grabbing the bags of books—I'd bought a few days ago—from beside the couch.

Settling down onto the couch, I pushed my hair out of my face and pulled a book out of the bag.

_Dream Land by Sarah Dessen_.

Reading a book would clear my head for a while; the book pulling me into a state of reverie.

Once I started reading, I knew I'd be physically here but emotionally and mentally I would be gone.

That, right now, sounded pretty dang good.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

I finished the chapter I was reading, shaking with excitement to read more.

Pushing the book away, I twisted my hair into a lop-sided bun and tugged my tank top down over my jeans, causing my cleavage to show more than intended.

My foot, along with my left leg, was asleep from staying in one place so long and I walked it off, ending up in the kitchen.

After a few moments of just standing there, I decided to make dinner.

I opened the refrigerator, grabbing the fresh lettuce along with some cucumber, carrots, salad dressing, and tomatoes.

I washed everything, cutting it up, and combining it all together.

Charlie would enjoy a nice salad. Something pure and fresh unlike the fatty foods he ate all the time.

Getting out the already marinated fish, I turned on the oven—setting it at the right temperature.

Nodding to myself, I sat down, returning to my book.

There was a light rap on the door and I looked away from the book.

My hands froze.

I got up, immersing myself in shuffling the salad. Making it look like I was doing something that wasn't pleasuring like resting and reading a book.

The front door opened, the bright light spilling in, and I leaned forward trying to catch a glimpse of the person.

"Hey, babe." A guy called out. I took in a jagged breath, my head racing.

"Hey! I'm in here!" I called out, my voice to fake and cheery even to me.

The oven was hot enough now and I slipped the fish in just as Jake came walking in.

He was holding a black bag but that wasn't what caught my eye.

What did was the sinister smile that clung to his pink lips.

I pulled away from the oven, letting the door close, and walked over to him.

I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He kissed my softly on the lips then ran his finger along my temple.

The bruises were still there, but they were getting better with the gel I'd put on earlier.

I leaned into him as his arms tightened around me, his hands warm.

"We're going to have fun tonight." Jake whispered in my ear and I froze.

Trying my best to breath evenly and not pull back took too much effort.

My mind soon became fuzzy.

Jake's hand slid down the small of my back, tracing the tender outline of my butt.

It, too, had small bruises from Jake's spanking a week ago.

I looked over at the black bag sitting on the floor. I was suddenly curious as to what was in it.

I ran my fingers over his back, soon intertwining them in his hair.

I was trying to act like I was enjoying this, when really it made me sick.

The bulge strained against his pants, rising to settle between my thighs.

He was horny.

I muffled my gasp.

As I did this, I unintentionally rubbed against his member.

"Yea," He murmured, clearly enjoying this.

I sighed inaudibly as his hands kneaded my pulsing skin.

Sure, it felt good but the overwhelming feeling of vile nastiness that washed over me decayed any sense of pleasure.

Jake's fingers ran over my shorts; hooking onto the elastic band, ready to pull them off.

I was about to push his hands away when I heard Charlie's car pull into the driveway.

Jake pulled back, frowning, but I was relieved.

He leaned down and brushed his lips over my collarbone, his hands tightening over a patch of bruises on my stomach.

"Go put something on." I heard the car door shut and I sprinted up the stairs changing into the outfit I'd worn earlier.

When I came back down, Charlie was making conversation with Jake.

There voices colliding and separating, sometimes one becoming louder than the other.

"Hey, Bells." Charlie said. "Dinner smells great." He rubbed his stomach and smiled, the skin around his eye and mouth crinkling.

The black bag was nowhere to be found.

Jake looked at me, smiling, and then his forehead creased. He continued to stare at me.

I barely smiled at him, instead not worrying too much about Jake as I focused on the food.

I set the table and put the food out, an extra plate sitting next to mine for Jake.

Who was, unfortunately, staying for dinner.

Charlie started eating, noting just how great the fish was.

"You should make this more. It's great." Happiness bubbled up in me like a volcano about to erupt.

I smiled whole-heartedly, nodding my head.

I took a bite of salad, hoping to calm my upset stomach.

Jake was watching me steadily.

My already upset stomach twisted in knots.

In an attempt to make it look like I was eating, I pushed the food around my plate.

"Any problems at work, Charlie?" Jake asked, all sweet and innocent.

They talked quietly about anything and everything.

Not exactly normal for Charlie.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Charlie had decided to visit Billy for the night so it was just Jake and I.

Alone.

How nice.

I shuffled across the floor, studying my feet, when I felt a presence behind me.

Jake's arms encaged me and I closed my eyes, swallowing, as I slowly started to lose grip on my self-control.

"Let's go upstairs." I nodded numbly while he guided my body.

The black bag, swinging from Jake's wrist, made the noise a bag does when the plastic crinkles.

I wondered what he'd done with it.

The sound of the bag raised a notch on my panic scale.

My bedroom door opened in front of me.

I stumbled in, Jake's hands and body finally leaving my side.

I turned around, watching Jake open the black bag.

He pulled out a box and tore it open.

I laughed, unable to help myself, at the sight of a black—so unoriginal—dildo.

Jake's head snapped up, his eyes squinted.

"What?" I asked, shrugging.

Big mistake.

I hadn't meant to laugh; surely he wouldn't take it personally.

"You think _this_ is funny?" He gestured to the stick in his hand, shaking it back and forth.

I realized it was huge.

Like super huge.

One of those kinds that hurt you so badly you can't walk straight for a day.

"No."

"Whatever." He looked at the bed, then back at me. "Lie down on the bed."

My stomach fell out my ass.

I swear it just did.

I did as told, the power he felt almost tangible as if I could wrap my hand around it.

Jake stood at the foot of my bed.

He tore off my shorts, throwing them behind his shoulder.

I braced myself for what was to come—only noticing his face.

When I was bare and spread open in front of him, he grinned.

He bent down toward me; he traced every inch of me—his fingers soon becoming slick and wet.

My heart was pounding so hard I could see my skin rise and fall with each thump.

"You bruise _so_ easily." He muttered, shoving his middle finger inside me.

It hurt for a second, the ache of his nail scraping across the skin inside me lingering.

I tilted my head back so I wouldn't have to see his face for this.

He kept pushing his finger in and out, the feeling disturbing.

He took out his finger and I looked at him.

He licked his it then wet his index coming back to push them in with such force, I hissed out.

Only a few minutes passed before I came.

He pulled his fingers out, licking them, and murmuring something.

I panted, wiping the sweat droplets that crowded my forehead.

I closed my eyes and laid my head down the pillow, trying to gather all the strength I had.

He was nowhere close to being done with me.

I felt my hole ripping even more, the pressure driving me mad, but the pain stinging with such fury it burned me.

There was a click then a vibration inside me, pounding so hard, the tears kept spilling out everywhere.

It was pulled from me, and I gasped, stuttering to tell him not to stick it inside me again.

But he did.

The pain rocked through me and my back arched off the bed. My fingers fisting around the sheets.

Jake laughed, the sound threatening and deafening.

My skin was raw from being rubbed so hard with the dildo. It was forced inside me again, this time wiggling so that it hit areas that caused me greater pain.

The vibration tingled through me, the only pleasure that somewhat blocked out the pain. It was a zap, one that made me blush and buck my hips.

It was horrifying.

Twenty minutes later, he finally pulled it out.

He laid it on the bed then crawled over to me, examining me.

"You didn't come." He said, upset.

"I couldn't, Jake." I stuttered, trying not to cry. "It hurt so—"

"This should make you come." He said, cutting me off.

He walked over to my drawer, pulling out a pair of socks.

He undid them, and then stuffed one into my mouth.

I almost chocked on it then calmed myself enough to breath through my nose without panicking that I was going to die of deprived oxygen.

Jake sat down on the bed, and then grabbed me, holding me an inch in the air from his cock.

Kissing me—even though the sock was a problem—he slammed me onto his cock.

"Urggah!" I groaned out, noting how good this did feel.

He bucked and rode me, kissing my breasts all the while.

He licked my nipple and sucked it till it was erect.

I spit out the sock when Jake wasn't noticing.

I pulled him to me, kissing him with so much passion that I was making _myself_ dizzy.

His tongue swirled with mine and I pressed myself closer to him, wanting the pleasure to never end.

"Oh baby." Jake screamed out, getting up and slamming me against the wall.

My walls tightened around his shaft as he thrusted harder and harder with each push.

"Mmm," I moaned as I came.

He wasn't finished though and continued, my area sensitive but happily agreeing to keep going.

A second later he came.

I could feel him shaking against me--inside me--sweat covering out bodies.

I shook my head, realizing he wasn't wearing a condom and that he'd just released inside me.

He pulled out and I slid down the wall trying to catch my breath.

My walls clutched at thin air.

Jake went downstairs then came back up with a stool in his hands.

He placed it in the middle of the room then lifted me up into his arms.

I was placed on the stool, bent over it.

My hands grabbed onto the legs and I wondered what this was for.

Ooh.

Jake penetrated me again, riding me over and over. Till I was raw.

Inside and out.

I was sick; or so I thought.

_Stoplight lock the door  
Don't look back  
Undress in the dark  
And hide from you  
All of you_

_You'll never know the way your words have haunted me  
I can't believe you'd ask these things of me  
You don't know me_

_

* * *

_

**This chapter was pretty horrible and so hard to write.**

**But i thought you should at least get a dang good look at what Jake does that damages Bella so bad.**

**Please REVIEW and make me happy!**

**Let me know how i'm doing and if you like the story.**

**If this chapter was too much, don't stop reading. Not all chapters are like this; and chapter that are like this will be very rare.**

**:)**

**Thanks!**

**-taylorcullenforever**


	5. Apocalypse Please

4

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Four:**

**Apocalypse Please**

**Song: Cold Water by Damien Rice**

Their eyes were like piercing daggers. Sharp, blades that tore into one's skin like flesh-eating bacteria that eroded ones skin.

I'm sure it was just me going through a paranoid kick.

Which would explain the feeling of their eyes always following me. Everywhere.

The eyes of everyone I knew here at school.

The constant batch of fire ragging between my legs beckoned me to skip school.

To go home, where I could rest and regain my strength.

Re-build my crumpled brick wall.

Angela waved at me from across the hall, her hand cupping the air that floated around us.

I smiled back, my check rising.

My lips puckered in pain as the bruise under my skin—from Jake's last beating—flared up.

Deciding it was too delicate to allow no release of pain when messed with.

I spotted the only fat, huge school clock in the hallway, reading its hands carefully.

I had one minute to hall ass to class; if I didn't make it I was sure to earn a detention. I'd been late enough times already.

The tile under my floor reflected the lights from the ceiling into my eyes, rays of whiteness blinding me for a moment.

Voices from the people around me seemed to crash down on my ears, cutting out any other sound.

I couldn't even hear my own breathing.

My fingers parted, slipping around the metal doorknob that lead me to biology.

I yanked open the door, almost throwing myself in as the final tardy bell rang. I had barely made it.

Mr. Banner studied me for a second, nodding his head, and smiling to tell me I had an invitation to sit down at my table.

I placed my book bag—tan, medium size, with a serious capacity to hold a lot—onto the surface of my table.

Pulling out my notebook, Mr. Banner started talking about life science.

I listened carefully, pulling my jacket tighter around me till I could feel my bruises protest with sharp pangs of ache.

Reminding myself that I was free from Jake for a good hour lessened the imaginary rope around my throat.

Breathing easing back into an even pace.

The door cracked open, the hinges squealing so loudly that I covered my ears.

Mr. Banner really needed to get that door fixed. My God, I would be deaf before I'd gotten out of school.

Then I'd have to take up sign-language.

_God, _I started. _Please let me keep my hearing. I like being able to hear. I know I don't pray enough but sometimes I just don't know what to say. Watch over me please. I say this is Jesus Christ's name. Amen. _

I finished out my prayer. I didn't pray often but this moment seemed to need a prayer, whether or not God heard my calling.

Now I felt a little silly for making such a stupid prayer.

Oh well, I can't take it back now. Not that I want to, exactly.

Mr. Banner's voice came rushing into me, loud and excited. My eyes lifted from the table, clinging to the outline of a boy.

A beautiful boy.

One of the most beloved angels from the Kingdom Of Heaven.

His bronze hair was tousled to no end, as if he rolled right out of bed, but it was sexy as hell. Eye-catching.

It looked soft, like a girls.

His green eyes fell upon me as Mr. Banner pointed out the only free spot in the room.

My chest tightened, the pathway of air in my neck sealing up to.

Fighting to keep myself from having a panic attack, I gripped the sides of my table.

Easing out tattered breathes every few seconds, then inhaling heavily through my nose.

His brow furrowed as he realized I was having some kind of problem.

I blushed slightly; able to keep it shaded a light pink instead of a blooming red.

I took another look at him, the rigid stance of my body ceasing as he smiled at me.

His pearly white teeth gleamed at me, straight and perfect.

He turned away from me, speaking something to Mr. Banner. I felt the need to walk over and listen.

He lifted up a cup carrier, offering Mr. Banner a cup. He took it gladly, thanking him as he took a sip.

Leaving three cups left.

"Class," Mr. Banner said, placing his cup down. "This is Edward Cullen."

_Edward_.

Butterflies erupted inside my stomach, beating against the lining of my stomach.

_Good Lord, help me stay strong._

I thought, as he started walking my way. I hauled my stuff away from his spot, dropping it all onto the floor beside me.

He pulled out his stool, taking a seat.

Placing the cup holder down, he shuffled through a stack of papers before turning to me.

"Hello." His voice fluttered away and down into my soul, the velvety smoothness that poured from his voice making its mark on my heart. "I'm Edward. And you are?"

He stuck out a hand, his long, pale fingers awaiting mine.

I shook it, his warmth seeping through and through.

I was speechless.

"Oh." I said, as he chuckled. "I'm Bella Swan."

"Isabella is your full first name though, right?"

"Yes." I said, nodding.

"But you just like Bella?" He studied me intently, his emerald eyes swimming with something I couldn't put my finger on.

"Yea." I said, baffled at the fact he was the first person to ever understand me so easily.

"Would you like one of these?" He pointed to the three cups that I finally came to realize were coffee. "There's Cinnamon Dolce Latte, Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha, and Iced Apple Chai Infusion Tea."

My mouth opened a little as I thought about which one sounded better.

"Wow, they all sound good." I told him, deciding to open up to the best of my ability.

Jake had boxed me up to the point where opening up to anyone was a war similar to War World II.

"How about this. Try a sip of each one and tell me what you think." He handed me the Cinnamon Dolce Latte.

Through the lids tiny opening the color was a beautiful combination of tan and red.

I took a sip; the first thing I tasted was a whoosh of Cinnamon that made me think of cinnamon cookies.

"Delicious." Was all I told him. He nodded, handing me the peppermint one. It was an egg white color with brown swirls.

The first thing I tasted was bitter peppermint, along with a flush of thick chocolate. The perfect combination.

"Perfect." He gave me the last one, a tea. It was cold unlike all the others.

I took a sip, the heat from the last one warming me up inside out. To be honest, it was like a drinking a real apple.

"Mmm, this one is so good."

"I agree with you on that." I handed it to him. "Now pick your favorite." I still wasn't sure which one I wanted. I was a moot point.

"I have to pick the tea."

"Good choice. It's my favorite too." He picked up the cinnamon one, taking a sip like he didn't even care my saliva was sitting on the lip.

Heat rushed to my neck as his lips folded over the hole where my lips had just been.

I could only wonder how touching him would make me feel.

"How do you like your coffee?"

"Umm, to be honest I don't really drink coffee but I like black coffee. No sugar or cream."

"You like the bitter taste?"

"Yea, it's refreshing when you've spent a good amount of time consuming sweet things."

"You're interesting, Bella."

"How so?" I asked.

"You're not like everyone else."

"How do you know that?" I asked, throwing the question at him. He blinked at me, caught off guard.

He seemed to blush, but I'm sure it was my mind playing tricks on me.

"I can just tell." He answered honestly, taking another sip of his coffee. I took another sip of my tea, the coolness taking over the warmth.

"So where'd you come from?" I hoped to gain some information about him.

"Italy."

"Man, that's far away."

"It is." He laughed. "But it's so very beautiful there."

"So I've heard. I've always wanted to visit there."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Maybe even live there one day."

"You would like it over there."

"You think?"

"I do." He smiled at me, his eyes sliding down to look at what I presumed to be my lips.

"I—" The bell rang above us and I was pulled back into reality. When the truth was I still was lost in his eyes.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asked, looking hopeful.

"Yes." He smiled then, leaning forward.

Jumping to conclusions, I stepped back, gathering my stuff up from the floor.

I fled the room, only turning, by pure accident, once I was at the door.

He stood where I'd left him, staring up at me with _this look_.

His hand seemed to reach out toward me but I threw myself out the door before I did anything rash or could confirm that he was reaching out for me.

Jake was going to kill me.

If he found out I had been talking to another guy in class, I was going to get another beating for sure.

(((((((((((((((((((((((

Stepping into the lunchroom, my eyes fell upon Edward who was sitting at a table with four other people. Two girls and two guys.

They all stared at me.

Feigning forgetfulness, I backed out of the lunchroom.

I would have to forget about Edward.

Starting now.

Commence Operation Forget Edward Cullen.

_Feels like the weight of the world_

_Like all my screaming has gone unheard_

_And oh, I know you don't believe in me_

_Safe in the dark, how can you see?_

* * *

**So sorry for the long wait!!!!**

**I've been really busy so getting this chapter done took a while. **

**Edward is finally in the story!!! YAY!!!**

**REVIEW and let me know what you think!!**

**-taylorcullenforever**

**P.S Thanks for everyone whos reviewed so far!!!**

**P.P.S Has anyone seen the Hannah Montana Movie??? If you did, what did you think?? I SAW IT!!! I LOVED IT!!! **


	6. Twisted

**5**

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Five:**

**Twisted**

**Song: Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls **

Friday was over**. **_Gone__**. **_It'd vanished**, **just like my hope had long ago.

Charlie was home, lounging on the couch. The TV was blaring with the sound of some kind of game**… **baseball**?**

Thinking of my dad brought a rush of happiness.

Knowing he was here for me every single second made my hope flare—hope that one day I'd be able to tell him what Jake does to me.

Maybe he'd be the one to rescue me.

A smile formed on my chapped lips. I liked them, feeling the roughness of my skin.

The sheets and duvet was crinkled, a remainder of the memory of my break down last night.

_I slammed open my bedroom door, glad that no one was home. I was reeling through another panic attack, it's fingers twining around me._

_I grabbed my CD player off the night stand, throwing it to the ground, and it cracked open, the lonely CD in it spinning on the floor till it landed flat._

_My cell phone buzzed suddenly__and I grabbed it, my ears ringing with madness._

"_Hey babe."_

"_Hi." I answered to Jake, a robot on steroids. _

"_Just wanted to let you know that I'll be gone tomorrow."_

"_Okay, thanks."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too." I told him, lying through and through. The line disconnected. I threw my phone against the wall, watching as it bounced onto my bed._

_In the back of my mind, I was glad I hadn't thrown it hard._

_I screamed out, my voice ringing pure and true. I grabbed the picture of Jake and I kissing from the nightstand, throwing it as hard as I could against the wall. The glass shattered, screaming back at me. I threw the rest of our pictures, stomping on them in all my fury._

_I couldn't take Jake anymore. I'd finally snapped. _

_Not that this was my first snapping._

_I grabbed my duvet and sheets pulling them up, tossing them everywhere. Doing this over and over. I threw each possession I had, till there was nothing left unscathed. _

Now I was standing in front of my mirror.

Everything was still a mess. I'd already cut my foot on a shard of glass. Reminding me that it would be a good idea to put on shoes.

Studying my face, I grasped the face that I looked more broken than I'd originally thought.

The bruises scattered along my temple and cheeks were a light yellow.

At the last stage in the healing process.

Except that wasn't what was bothering me.

I didn't mind the lingering yellow patterns but I did mind the crinkling pain underneath the skin.

The deep down under-the-skin bruises… Something I couldn't ease away with my magic gels.

But, something so much deeper than just a regular bruise—deeper than regular pain.

It was leaking of all the emotions I'd been restraining.

I wanted to cry, to yell out in fear that I'd never be fully healed. Left broken, if even in my own little way.

I peeled off my clothes, shirt brushing against my face.

I sighed, wriggling out of my sweat pants. The sweeping sense of freedom filling me up, I felt unchained.

_Light and free._

The mirror silently cackled at me, contemptuous.

I shivered as the cool air reached me. The warmth having left me along with my clothes.

In my bra and panties, I climbed onto my bed.

Layering the comforter over the bare mattress so that I could lie down on top of them.

I opened my window, moving the blinds that hung in front of it. I was happy that the sun had come out to play today.

My body lay still, my breathing a slight wheezing.

Thoughts free floated from my head, ever lasting memory show slow.

A woman bouncing a child on her hip, bare chickens hanging from a lonely kiosk, a fountain filled with coins… _Coins burned with dead wishes__**.**_

I felt as if I was on the edge of death. Almost as if God was looking down at me, knowing it was time—time to save me.

But I didn't want to _die_. There was still so much to do.

I still wanted to fall in love.

Jake's beatings had finally worn the life from me.

A blue-jay perched on my window, fluttering around. It stared at me.

"Not yet, not yet." I told it.

I could have sworn the bird was death upon me. I smiled, reaching up as if to touch my clammy hand to its soft, silky feathers.

I shook my head vigorously, watching the bird fly away.

I hated feeling so dead, so lifeless. Feeling alive was what I needed.

I pulled on a soft long sleeved shirt, feeling it brush gently against my bruises, and then a pair of black jeans.

The colour only reminding me of what was waiting for me. So close, that I could almost touch it.

Charlie greeted me when I came downstairs, his small patch of hair askew. He held a glass of orange juice in his hands, smiling widely.

"Bells."

"Good morning." I grabbed my car keys from the counter top.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. Just tired, I'm going out for some coffee."

"Okay, that's fine." I hugged him lightly, his arms wrapping fully around me.

Not a trace of awkward in his touch. I wanted to stay like this forever but I knew he'd figure out that something was wrong.

I kissed his cheek, pulling back.

"I love you, Dad." Charlie blushed, glancing down at the floor.

"I love you too, Bella." Thought he hadn't looked me in the eye when he'd said it, he still had said 'Bella'.

That was enough for me.

I stuffed myself in the car, breathing heavily since I'd forced myself to run to my car. It was freezing out there, soI cranked up the heat, rubbing my hands together to build up friction.

The windows were fogging up and I purposefully breathed on my side window. I rubbed my finger across it, making pointless patterns.

The roads were packed**;** cars everywhere.

Maybe I thought this because I'd gotten so used to Forks being empty all the time.

I parked at the nearest coffee shop, grabbingmy bag, asIpulledmycoattighteraroundmyself**.**

As I walked to the door, I yanked my hair up into a loose ponytail, a few strands escaping its hold.

The coldness had glued itself to me—or so it seemed—the warm air inside the café not even enough to stop me from shivering.

I ordered myself a Gingersnap Latte, deciding it would be wise to get something warm, andI took a long pull at my drink, the liquid scorching my tongue.

Settling down into a cozy sofa-like chair, I closed my eyes, propping a pillow up behind me.

"What are you going to do?" A voice asked, high pitched but worried.

I could only picture the girl that voice belonged to. I decided to close me eyes, I didn't want to stare and come off as some stalker.

I was oddly curious about their conversation.

Eavesdropping on their discussion, I took another hard drink.

"Nothing," a boy said, his voice—

"Nothing?!" The girls voice rose higher and I could picture her gripping the edge of the table with her hands.

"Something's happened to her but I have no clue as to what."

"Fine." The girl snapped, sighing.

"Oh shit." The boy said, and I hoped he hadn't figured out I'd been listening.

I got up, making myself stare straight so I wouldn't look at the couple talking. The cashier came around when he saw me, smiling again like he had before.

He rubbed his hands on the front of his apron, leaving a white trail of whip cream.

"You're back again." He said, staring down at my chest for a second.

Why couldn't I be as happy as he was?

Dammit.

"I am." I said, snatching a ten from my bag.

"I'd like one of those muffins." He did as hold, packaging a beautiful muffin with a gooey center.

Yum.

"Make that two." I told him.

Once I'd paid him, I sat down again, concentrating on not spilling crumbs as I tilted my head back. Fingers plucking a piece of muffin onto my tongue.

"Bella?" Huh?

I searched the café quickly, searching for the person who'd called my name.

There were only two people there, sitting at a table by the window.

Not too far away from me.

_Edward Cullen_.

I swallowed hard, hoping to loosen up my throat with a swig of my drink. He beckoned me over with his finger, smiling.

Should I go over there?

What if someone were to see and tell Jake**?**

_Oh shut up and get your ass over there!_

Foronce**, **I listened to my conscious.

Gathering up my things, I plopped down in the seat across from both him and the girl. Her spiky black hair was the first thing that caught my attention.

They look . . . _almost_ identical.

He cradled his arm around her waist.

Churning, my stomach growled at me. Telling me to get control of myself—my emotions mostly.

I felt like I was going to vomit. God, please let me not vomit.

"How are you?" he asked, I noted that the girl was studying me. I felt like a bug under a microscope.

And I looked horrible too!

Just my luck**…**

"I'm doing really good." I lied. "Thanks. And you?"

"Just fine." He replied, turning to look at the girl. "Bella, this is my sister, Alice." She smiled, taking my hand in her small one.

I finally noticed how incredibly tiny she was.

"It's nice to meet you. Edward's been talking about you." She sang, smiling at both of us.

I blushed unintentionally, shaking my head.

"I'm sure that's not true. We just met."

"Oh, but it is true." Her eyes gleamed and I pushed away the few annoying strands of hair from my face.

"So what brings you here?" Edward asked.

"I'm exhausted and we're out of coffee at him so I thought I'd just come here and relax a little."

"Sounds like my kind of day." Edward said, taking a sip of that one tea we'd had. Chai apple something.

"What are you two doing here?"

Alice leaned forward, cupping one hand around her throat. "I've been trying to persuade Edward into letting me take him shopping." She jumped up a bit, obviously excessively happy about the thought of shopping.

"And what did you say Edward?" I asked, offering my muffin out to him. He took a chunk, chuckling.

"I said, 'Alice, there is no way in hell I'm lugging around all your bags! You can carry your own bags, or better yet get your boyfriend to do it!' that is what I said." He looked proud of himself.

This made me laugh, then Alice started in but Edward didn't.

He ate his piece of muffin, watching me instead as I cupped my hand over my mouth.

"You and me should go shopping." Alice suggest, tugging lightly on my wrist.

My eyes grew wise. Not only was I not in the mood—well Edward might change my mood quickly—but I didn't have the money for a shopping spree at the moment.

"I'm paying." She quirked, her eyebrows rising.

"No. You're not paying."

"I am too." She retorted, looking at Edward. "Right?"

"Yep." He said, popping his 'p' right in Alice's face. She slapped him gently, turning away from him as if he'd offended her.

Alice got up, Edward following.

I sat, plastered to my sea**t** until Alice started leaving. Edward grabbed my hand, our fingers linking together.

"Please come with me. I don't want to be alone with that monster!" He whispered, a double meaning to his words.

His eyes were soft. I held onto his hand tighter, following as he pulled me with him.

Life fluttered through me like a field full of thousands upon thousands of blooming flowers.

_What day is it? And in what month?_

_This clock never seemed so alive_

_I can't keep up and I can't back down_

_I've been losing so much time_

Hey Everyone! Sorry for the long update, life sucks that way. This chapter is dedicated to DreamingAboutYou. A HUGE THANKS goes out to my awesome Oxygen. and .Cucumber

Hope you enjoyed this chappy!

REVIEW!

-taylorcullenforever

* * *


	7. Little Wonders

**6**

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Six:**

**Little Wonders**

**Song: Little Wonders – Rob Thomas**

I wasn't thinking, I realized, pulling up to the mall. It was packed, overflowing with people as they carried out bags.

I followed Edward's car as he weaved through the crowd in search of a parking space. I craned my neck to look around me. All I could see were miles and miles of cars. I hit the brake as a woman and man walked past the front of my car, passing me glances along the way.

Edward was already turning to go down the next lane. I hurried to catch up.

We found parking spaces close to each other, meeting in the middle of the road. A group of kids passed us talked animatedly.

I felt self-conscious.

My fingers tugged at the hem of my shirt, pulling it down over my jeans. I thought about fixing my hair the best I could while we were walking but decided against it. Edward had already seen me at my worst.

"This is going to be so much fun." Alice chirped, glancing over to me. I smiled slightly. "We can walk around and just go into any stores we take interest in." I was sure all stores held interest for Alice.

Edward snickered beside me, strands of hair shaking with his shoulders as he tried to keep it in.

Once inside everything seemed claustrophobic. People were everywhere and bags were everywhere. It was a mad house. I don't know how Alice could stand all the commotion. Edward looked uncomfortable already, his Adam's apple moving as he swallowed hardly.

Alice grabbed my hand, pulling me over to a jewelry counter. There were so many gold pieces that I my eyes were rapidly scanning over everything. I pointed to a curved heart with stones imbedded in the gold.

A man came over to us, smiling as he tugged the collar of his shirt. Alice told him we wanted the necklace, stomping on my foot as soon as my mouth opened. I took in a rigid breath of air as my body curled inward from the pain.

Holy shit that had hurt! I could feel a steady throbbing in not only my big toe but also my pinky. Well thanks Alice; I'm sure the necklace will make up for it! I hope Alice had gotten that for herself.

She twirled herself over to me, holding out the bag. My hopes were so unneeded. I took it from her wordlessly, not wanting another pounding to my foot.

Alice was small but my God, she was lethal!

Edward pulled me close as soon as Alice had run off into another store.

"Are you okay?" I nodded. I was fine, really. So she stepped on my toe, I'd survive. It was nothing big.

"Let me see." He demanded, stopping right there in the middle of the store to crouch down on the ground and take my foot in the hands. She slipped off my shoe, tugging off my sock too.

He fingered my toes, moving them and asking if it hurt.

He sounded and looked so concerned. I watched him as he put my shoe back on, standing up to spot Alice waving at us from the entrance of the store.

"Thank you." I whispered, gazing into his eyes. He didn't look away. Neither did I. He stepped closer to me, lips parting. I traced them with my eyes as my hand twitched by my side.

"Hey, you two! Come on!" Alice screamed at us, dodging the glares as she motioned with her hands to go in a certain direction. I blinked, splattering back down on earth. Good God, I need to control myself better.

Edward and I started off after Alice, smiling as she danced wildly. She came over to my side, getting her hands in a deadly lock around my arm. I stared incredulously at her, as she smiled sinisterly at me. That's when she yanked me into a store.

"Alice, be nice." I heard Edward call out, voice fluttering behind us. This was not my kind of store. There were racks of pink tops and bottoms. Even more of skimpy shirts that showed off body parts. I groaned inwardly, trying to act all innocent my feet turned backwards to run away.

"Nope." Alice threw a shirt at me and I leaned out to grab it. Slapping it across my arm.

In no time, my arms were full of clothing. Not only for Alice but for me too. And it wasn't just tops either. In my arms I held underwear, bras, socks, leggings, jeans, shorts, tank tops, and dresses. Now I knew exactly what Edward meant when he'd told Alice he would not carry around her crap.

The changing rooms came into view. My heart plunked against my chest, cussing at me for being so stupid to have let Alice taking me shopping. I was going to have a panic attack.

I couldn't change in front of Alice, nor could I wear the things she had picked out for me. She'd see the bruises. She'd see the marks. She'd see the damage. And when she did, what would she say? I couldn't do in there.

Not unless I knew there would be away to make sure Alice saw nothing that would cost my secret getting out.

"Be back." She told me, patting my arm as she went to talk to a woman over at the counter. She came back with two cards both had numbers on them.

"Let's go change!" She squealed, pulling me into the room of changing stales. Each door had a number on it. Our stales were right next to each other, enough that if she wanted to she could stand up on the sitting platform and look over the edge.

Perfect.

We divided up the clothing. I locked myself in the stale, letting my head rest against the door. I could change or I could make an excuse. But I didn't have a decent excuse! I swiped a shirt off the seating platform, tugging my own shirt over my head.

The top was blue, low-cut too. When I had gotten it on, I turned to face the mirror. I could see the bruises on my chest and the ones on my arm.

I forced myself to look at the clothing instead of the markings. I titled my head to the side and stepped closer to the mirror. I actually looked decent in this. If I could just get my bruises to heal and dodge any beatings I could wear this one-day. Jake might like it.

"You have anything you want to get yet?"

"Yeah." I smiled, changing into another shirt. This wasn't so bad.

Edward gawked at us, eyes disbelieving. Alice and I came waddling out of the store. Bags cramming so far up our arms we both were loosing our balance. I laughed out loud, fully enjoying myself. Even if I hadn't enjoyed the amount Alice had paid for all this stuff.

"I want to go see this one kiosk. Let's go find it."

"What kiosk?" I asked. Alice just smiled.

"Alice, you're not going to do that to Bella are you?" Edward muttered. He looked horrified. Alice kissed his cheek, before starting off again. Her random squeal for us to follow startled us. I looked at him questioningly but he shook his head.

The bags were getting heavy now as we passed another kiosk. I thought we might never find it in here. People were crowding around us, a big group walking right behind us. I was about to scream at them to give us some freaking space. Jeez.

Then it happened. Alice spotted the kiosk and pointed it out to Edward and me. Edward busted out laugh, telling Alice that he was right when he'd guessed what kiosk.

It was an eyebrow threading station. Wasn't that supposed to be where they did your eyebrows and it was painless?

"Are we getting that done?" I asked, smiling widely. Alice nodded, shoving all her bags at Edward when we reached the booth.

"Yes, we are." Alice commented. A woman that looked to be in her early twenties led us to two chairs. I settled down into one, excited about finally getting my eyebrows done but without the pain.

Our bags surrounded Edward and he stood fairly close. His eyes were glued to me. When he caught me looking at him, his gaze shifted to Alice. The woman started on Alice, saving me for last.

She twisted the thread into a double strand. She settled the thread onto Alice's eyebrows moving in such a way that the thread instantly pulled out a row of hair.

Oh my God, it looked amazing. Though, why Alice was getting it done was a mystery. Her eyebrows looked perfect already.

The woman repeated this action till Alice eyebrows were arched to perfection.

It was my turn.

I lay back, closing my eyes as I thought of how nice this was going to be.

The woman rubbed a damp cloth of my brows, fixing her thread. I opened my eyes in time to see Edward and Alice both in front of me watching. Alice looked smug, while Edward looked bemused.

Then came the pain. It was quick but lingered, a consistent stinging as she continued ripping out row after row of hair. I was stupid for _ever_ thinking it to be painless.

My lips puckered while I tried my best not to squirm in my chair. Tears were rolling from my eyes, sliding into my hair as she kept at it. The thread broke once but she fixed it and kept on.

"You a very hair girl. Want me to do upper lip?" She asked in an accent. I blushed furiously, embarrassed to no end. Before I could refuse, Alice nodded for me.

My upper lip was worse than my eyebrows.

When it was done I sat there trying to keep from moving my lips. It hurt that bad. Who in the hell does this to themselves? Next time I would be plucking with tweezers. Good Lord, try and stop me.

Alice paid while Edward stared at me.

"You okay?" He seemed to be asking me that question a lot lately.

"Yeah." I said, laughing shakily. He came closer, wiping away the tears that stuck to the sides of my face.

"You did better than the last girl."

"Alice did this to another girl?"

"She never went out shopping with Alice again." I tried to hold in the laughter but it was so funny. I busted out in hysterics as Alice came back. Her eyebrows were tinted red but she looked really good.

"Wow, you're lip is red!" She commented, picking up her bags.

"Oh stop it!" Edward nagged her.

"Poor Bella." Alice said sarcastically, I'm sure plotting my next appointment here.

Edward helped me get a few of my bags, putting his hand out in front of me.

"Let's get something to eat." I took his hand, allowing him to tuck me close to his body. He wrapped an arm fully around me, never pulling away.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

It had been a day since I'd gone shopping with Alice and I was still trying to get all the clothes she'd bought me washed.

I folded another round, tucking them into my dresser.

The doorbell rang just as the dryer buzzed telling me the last round of clothes were dry and ready for me.

I pushed my sleeves up to my elbows, climbing down the stairs. I smiled, thinking of how I'd see Edward on Monday.

Unlocking the bolt on the door, I yanked it open. My smile faded as my heart shrunk back against my spine, barely beating.

Jake stood on the porch, his eyes half-closed while his mouth formed a scowl. His shirt was ripped in places while his jeans were splattered with a liquid that looked like blood.

"Jake?" I asked. I move out of the way as he invites himself in, turning to stare at me. Jake hears the TV, realizing that Charlie's home.

"Your room." Is all he tells me? I trip over the stairs in my haste to get up there before he flips out and hits me. He closes the door behind me, turning to stare at me. His hands ball into fists, I smile at him to the best of my ability.

He gets in my face, the smell of alcohol on his breath revolting. He grabs my hips, pulling me forward. He's got a hard on.

"You love me, don't you Bella?" He asks me, circling my hips with his. Heat rises between my legs.

"Of course, Jake. Of course I love you." Jake growls then slaps me straight across the face. The pain worse now that I realize he's wearing rows of rings on his fingers.

In my attempt to protect myself, I crumble to the floor. Face titled downward. He doesn't give up but punches me five more times before spinning around to kick my wall.

"I do love you." I tell him again. He spins back around to me, pulling me up from the floor with his strong hands.

"I love you too, Bella." With that he wraps his arm around me and cradles me in his arms. I hang limply. "I love you so much."

Jake pulls me into the spare bedroom that Charlie had put in a few years back. He sets me down on the couch and turns on some TV.

He takes his seat next to me, positioning me so that I'm curled up on his chest.

I lay there, unmoving. I don't cry. I don't whimper. I just lay there.

* * *

**Hey Eveyone,**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I had a freaking awesome time writing the whole Bella/Edward/Alice hangout at the mall shopping spree. **

**A HUGE, HUGE, HUGE Thanks to my new Beta R. M. J Lennixx. She's awesome! :)**

**REVIEW--let me know what you think!**

**Thanks everyone,**

**-taylorcullenforever**


	8. Too Much

**Another GIGANTIC thanks to my beta-- R.M.J Lennixx.....i'd be lost without her.**

* * *

7

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Seven:**

**Too Much**

**Song: Too Much by Spice Girls**

I did what I thought I couldn't do. I survived.

Yep, you heard right. After being tugged around endlessly at a mall, getting my big toe smashed by a killer high heel, being mauled by an eyebrow guru, and then slapped by my wonderful boyfriend. I am breathing and trudging down the hallway at school.

Miraculously my eyebrows were no longer red, not stinging in protest at the horrible things that woman had done. A bonus was that they looked damn beautiful.

A boy whizzed by me, mumbling unintelligent things under his breath. Curling myself tight in, I twirled along side a pack of jocks that were shoving each other like wild monkies—minus the poo.

I had just finished lunch and now I was on the way to biology. A class that I'd learned to enjoy but regret at the same time.

My stomach swirled with acid, cringing painfully every time my mind wondered off to Edward.

I really hope I don't vomit up that meal of over-baked chicken. That would be a total turn-off, causing Edward to realize he needed to run from me. Not burrow closer into my heart.

'_Dammit, Bella! Stop it_!' I scolded myself, swearing that I would run off all thoughts that involved Edward. Really, in a way I was saving myself. But I was also ruining the first chance at real happiness.

The door was propped open already, light shinning through the open windows.

It was sunny today, one of the rare lucky days. As I took my seat, rays of light pooled on the floor beneath and around my feet.

In a sudden act of randomness, I stuck my hand out. Catching the warmth in the skin of my palm.

Mike cackled behind me about something, his voice strong but sinister. I cringed despite my efforts to calm down.

Mr. Banner flew into the classroom, papers tumbling everywhere as he rocked back and forth unsteadily. He was carrying too much in his arms.

Jessica stumbled on her high heels but helped him gather his things, smiling all the while.

Sighing, I sunk into the desk, placing my burning forehead on the cool science table. Edward was nowhere in sight.

Anxiety washed over me like a thick cotton blanket was being wrapped around my face. My throat tightened with a huge lump that seemed to stay stuck. I took hectic breaths, pondering the stabbing sensation in my gut.

The bell above us rang loud and clear. Class has begun.

I kept my position, resting in the crook of my elbow this time instead. Mr. Banner's voice boomed loud in the small confinements of this room.

He babbled on about the next section we'd be learning about. Reproduction System. Wipee, I thought sarcastically.

Who didn't know that all it took was one sperm and one egg then TA-DA! A baby.

There was a slight brush of something soft against my arm, a caress. My eyes fluttered open, yet I didn't move. I still needed proof so that when I moved out of my comfortable position it would be worth it.

"Bella? You feeling well today?" A voice asked, smooth yet nonetheless concerned. A paid of lips kissed the back of my neck, causing the hairs all over my neck and arms to stand on end.

My lips parted, my tongue dancing out to wet them. Eyes wide in happiness/fear, I peeked out over my arm.

There sitting closer than needed, was Edward. With his hair a mess and his teeth white. His kind eyes boring into my soul like an angel from the heavens.

My heart took one huge lurch of blood in before stopping for a second. It became limp then twitched to life when Edward's hand covered my own.

I smiled then happy he was here. Glad he wasn't sick or gone for personal reasons.

He was here and that was all that mattered.

"You doing okay?" His eyebrow cocked up in question, but there was a smiling curling up at the corners of his beautiful mouth.

Bella, stop yourself before you fall in love with the man

_He's so handsome . . ._

_I'm warning you! You're going to fall and this time you won't be able to get back up._

_Those lips._

_Stop._

_I wonder what it would be like to kiss those luscious lips. _

_Jake's going to beat you bad if you start messing around with Edward and he finds out._

_You fucking suck._

_I'm you, you know. So you're saying that you suck._

_Urgh._

My internal fight kept me from saying anything. Edward came back into focus. I realized I had been staring.

Blushing bright pink, I cleared the lump in my throat and sat up straight.

"I'm doing just fine. Umm—" I stuttered, searching for the right words. "I stayed up late doing an assignment that was due today."

"Ahh," He said, never moving. His chair was almost touching mine, meaning our arms were smashed together. How nice.

I focused on Mr. Banner, pretending that whatever he was saying was immensely interesting.

Edward's finger poked my arm. The touch sending sparks everywhere.

"Yes?" I whispered.

"Which would you like?" I beamed like a child getting a pick at any candy from a huge candy store. Edward scootched over a cup holder full of four individual drinks. Two were iced and two were hot.

"Which is what?"

"This one is Pumpkin Spice Latte, Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino, Tazo Awake Tea Latte, and an Iced Caffe Americano." They all looked delicious.

"The Tazo Awake Tea Latte sounds good." I grasped it in my hand, taking a hard pull at it. My senses sizzled awake, tingling as its warmth and goodness filled me to the brim.

Edward was always surprising me. This—the coffee—was one of the best surprises.

"Bella?" I turned to him, the feeling of a high lingering in the air.

"Yes, Edward?" I adored how his name felt rolling off my tongue, each time I said it only brought me closer to him.

"You have beautiful lips." I took the cup away from my mouth, staring at him.

The excitement was tangible in the air as he continued to gaze at me. His eyes looking in mine, and then darting down to my mouth.

If only time would stop.

Edward blew out a breath, causing his minty breath to brush over every inch of my face. His hand came up to cup around my cheek, his thumb barely touching my lips.

Suddenly he was bending down toward me, eyes never leaving mine.

Then, just as suddenly, he was sitting a farther away from me than he had been a second ago.

My stomach twitched with humiliation, gurgling in trying to keep the drink and food down.

I turned away from him, drinking silently so that I looked busy.

I was hurt, if I was being honest with myself. Him pulling away felt like a knife being plunged into my heart. Every second just turning the knife in a 360 degree angle.

This, everything I'm feeling, is _too much_.

Every fleeting thought.

Every stabby feeling in my gut.

Every fantasy.

Every glance.

Every breath.

Every mental picture of him.

Everything.

Is by far; _too much._

I have to stop this, right now. Before it became anything more than a friend relationship.

The bell rang just then. I hurried to get my things before flying out of the classroom.

My drink standing all alone on the table.

* * *

_I'd like to personally thank SparklingTopazEyes for her sweet review for this story. It meants a lot!_

If i'm being honest i'm going to tell you that i cried during this chapter. And cused out Bella and Edward. They need to stop messing around and get together already. Haha....Edward was like "i dont think so..." Anyway, hope you like this chapter

Reviews = Love.

-taylorcullenforever


	9. Unintended

8

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Eight:**

**Unintended**

**Song: Sing For Absolution by Muse**

Where was she?

My eyes swept over every face in the cafeteria. Except they never found what they were looking for.

Her chocolate brown orbs were like the sun. So bright. So real. I needed to see them.

_Lips are turning blue_

_A kiss that can't renew_

She was forbidden.

A fruit I couldn't reach no matter how far I reached into the tree.

Her body was so slender, so curvy. She, herself, was too breakable.

And yet, she was with that man, Jacob.

I wondered if she had any clue of the things he did with the girls here, during lunch.

Or if she even cared.

She never ate lunch. She was nowhere to be found during this thirty minute lunch break.

Her non-exsistent appearance made my heart long to find her.

_I only dream of you_

_My beautiful_

Alice placed a hand on my shoulder, another one coming down on my leg to still the persistent taps I was making with my shoe against the linoleum.

I smile half-heartedly at her. She searched my face for not even a second before turning back to Jasper. She didn't look at me again, though her hand stayed on my leg.

I ran my fingers through my hair, still looking. Still searching.

The bell rang above our head, gathering the attention of every student.

Seats scrapped across the ground, the shrieking sound burning in my ears. Alice flitted off with Jasper while Rosalie stared emotionless at me. Emmett followed my eyes as I took one last gaze around the room.

He shook his head at me.

No one in my family knew of my feeling for this _girl_.

No one knew my fantasies.

_Tiptoe to your room_

_A starlight in the gloom_

No one knew my every thought was of her.

No one knew my obsession to have her beside me.

_Obsession_.

That's what this was turning into.

A mad game of hide-and-seek.

Love—and—lust.

These two games were driving me mad.

_Mysterious._

That's what I call her. Her eyes were so dark, as if hiding something. Dead as if she was putting up some wall. Keeping everyone out.

Her quiet looks at everyone were scorching with fear. Fear for what, though? What does she have to fear?

I see her everywhere. Though, it's always fleeting glances. Never long enough to quench the thirst of seeing her.

Her hair was always hiding her face.

_Her beautiful face_.

_I only dream of you_

_And you never knew_

Isabella Marie Swan may be my existence. But she will surely be the death of me.

She will suck the life out of me.

Even if she didn't know it.

My feet carried me out of the room. I hadn't even realized I was walking until my hands were forced to open the glass doors.

I did realize had the cups of coffee in my hand. They were all for Bella.

Biology was next. Isabella was next.

My hands shook with nervousness—with love. For this small girl I saw a few times a day.

Alice was in front of me, snapping her neck around to gaze at me. She instantly saw my hands.

The bell rang. My thoughts went wild.

_Isabella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, need Bella, Bella. My sweet Bella._

Why does she have to be with that bastard Jake!?

I almost growled out as Alice pulled me against a vacant wall. I could see Bella from where we were.

My stomach flipped and coiled. My heart picked up speed.

She was staring intently out the window. Her hand was in the middle of the sunlight. Her skin seemed to glow, almost as if she was an angel.

_Sing for absolution_

_I will be singing_

She seemed to sigh before smacking her forehead down onto the table.

Alice smacked my arm.

I squinted my eyes in a glare at her. She wasn't affected by it.

"What is going on with you, Edward?"

"Nothing." I answered nonchalantly. Her eyes pleaded with me.

"You're so out of it. Tell me. What is going on?"

"I'll tell you. But you can't say anything nor tell anyone one else! Got it?" I asked, holding my hand out to her. She looked uncertain but shook my hand.

Deal.

"See that girl." I pointed into the room. Alice's eyes followed. Her mouth parted the tiniest bit before her eyes widened.

"Yes." She said, continuing to stare at Bella.

"I'm in love with her."

"You're _what_?" She asked incredulously. She pressed a hand to the skin right above her heart. As if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I'm in love with Bella Swan."

_And falling from your grace_

"In _love_?"

"Well, I'm in love. But I'm also obsessed."

"You sound like a stalker."

"More like a pedophile." I joked. I didn't stalk her nor was I a pedophile. I just needed to be close to Bella. I needed to know her.

She was my drug. I was going through withdraw.

"And does she know you have a thing for her?" I sighed.

"No." My voice was glum.

"Why not?"

"She's taken already."

"I am aware of that."

"She would probably laugh at me." I confessed.

"I doubt that, Edward."

I didn't doubt that. I'm sure she would laugh at me.

Maybe I wasn't exactly obsessed. Just so in love with her, it seemed to come down to that.

I turned my eyes to her. She had her head burrowed in the crook of her elbow. She looked so beautiful with her hair splayed out everywhere.

_There's nowhere left to hide_

_In no one to confide_

I wanted to run my fingers through her hair. To feel how soft each strand was.

"We're late. Let's talk about this later." Alice said, scurrying off. Her high heels clicked behind her.

I was to go to class now.

Thinking about how close to Bella I would be, my breath became erratic.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, hoping to control myself.

I strolled into class while Mr. Banner was talking about sexual reproduction. He didn't even notice me seeing as he had his back to the class.

Placing the coffees down on the table, I sat down silently. Bella stayed in her position.

Was she asleep?

With the back of one of my fingers, I stroked her arm so delicately.

Even through the fabric of her baggy jacket, I could feel the warmth radiating from her body.

She moved just barely enough to let me know she aware of someone near her.

I looked over her.

On her neck I saw a deep purple bruises. They looked like the outline of fingers.

"Bella?" I asked gently. "You feeling well today?" Before she could answer or get up, I pressed my lips to the bruises on the back of her neck. I nuzzled the skin and kissed it again before pulling back.

_The truth burns deep inside_

_And will never die_

I would have to ask her about those bruises sometime. Somewhere private.

A scooted my chair so very close to her. I needed to be as close to her as possible.

She peeked at me from inside of her arm; there was a smile in her eyes. Their brown swirls seemed to squirm and swim with life.

I smiled at her.

_Don't do it_. I screamed at myself but I placed my hand over hers.

She smiled then.

"You doing okay?" I was only concentrated on her face. I was trying so hard not to smile.

Her eyes held bags while her cheeks were stained pink. As if they'd been hit.

Something wasn't right with all the bruises she was getting. I remembered seeing her that one day when her face had been almost…battered. She's looked so bad then.

_Lips are turning blue_

_A kiss that can't renew_

Something _wasn't_ right.

She didn't say anything. Her eyes were glazed over.

I gave her time.

She finally came back to me.

Her cheeks flamed red.

"I'm doing just fine. Umm," Her forehead scrunched together. "I stayed up late doing an assignment that was due today."

She was not a good liar.

"Ahh." I said. Our arms were now glued together, since she was sitting upright.

She turned to Mr. Banner.

I looked forward, and then saw the cups of coffee.

I poked her arm.

"Yes?" She whispered, looking at me.

"Which would you like?" She glowed then. I pushed the cups toward her.

"Which is what?" I asked. She was so cute.

_I only dream of you_

_My beautiful_

"This one is Pumpkin Spice Latte, Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino, Tazo Awake Tea Latte, and an Iced Caffe Americano."

"The Tazo Awake Tea Latte sounds good." She grasped it in her hand and took a deep sip.

_Those lips._

"Bella?" I croaked out.

"Yes, Edward."

"You have beautiful lips." I blurt out as she released the cup from her lips. She gaped at me.

_Sing for absolution_

_I will be singing_

_And falling from your grace_

I stared into her eyes, before glancing longingly at her lips.

_Those lips._

_Those pink…_

_Luscious…_

_Tasty…_

_Lips…._

I blew out a breath, as I knew what I was going to do next.

My hand reached up, cupping around her swollen cheek. Her skin was so soft, so warm. So tender. She leaned into my touch.

My thumb scarcely traced over the pink skin of her plump lips.

God, I loved her with my entire being.

_Sing for absolution_

_I will be singing_

_And falling from your grace_

This girl…. was driving me insane.

Seeing something flash across her eyes, I leaned toward her. Never looking away from those orbs of hers.

_No, this is wrong._

My conscious screamed at me.

I was going to screw this up.

I yanked away from her, placing my chair as far away from her as the table would allow.

She looked….sad?

She turned away before bringing her drink back to her lips.

The bell rang then. Wow, time flies by.

She hastily grabbed her stuff and almost ran out the door. Hair flying behind her. I felt a sharp pang of sadness.

Her drink sat on the desk, looking out of place.

I grabbed the cup, still warm from her palm.

I folded my lips over the brim where her lips had been.

_Our wrongs remain unrectified_

_And our souls won't be exhumed_

Oh what it would be like to kiss her.

To have her love me back.

_Bella, I love you_.

_And I want you now  
I want you now  
I'll feel my heart implode  
And I'm breaking out  
Escaping now  
Feeling my faith erode_

* * *

Hey Everyone! So this is the official first Edward POV chapter. What did you think of it?

Also....what do you think of my doing an entire story of this...but in EDWARD's POV!??? I'm considering it.

A SUPER HUGE thanks to my aweomse Beta R.M.J Lennixx! I swear she's an under-cover ninja. :D

**Reviews = Love**

See you next chappy! **REVIEW**

-taylorcullenforever


	10. The Perfect Lover and Girlfriend

**READ PLEASE: Okay so, something happens in this chapter to Bella. Now before someone says i'm wrong, let me explain where I got this shit from---at the bottom of this chapter. Once your done reading...dont review saying that it can't happen. It has before....**

**now on to a new chapter.**

* * *

9

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Nine:**

**The Perfect Lover and Girlfriend**

**Song: I'm So Sick by Flyleaf**

Edward.

The boy I couldn't get out of my head.

He was like an illusion but at the same time, undeniably real.

He was just always out of my reach.

My lips twitched into an almost smile when my head replayed the video where he had almost kissed me the day before.

It was lunchtime and I was just making my way down the hall. Though I was having a difficult time dodging all the bodies.

A girl pushed up against my ribs. I almost stopped right then. The pain flooded my sense so thickly that I could feel the throb on the tip of my tongue down the to tips of my toes.

I wheezed for air, clutching my side.

Jake had come over last night for another beating. This time he was pretty merciful. Just not merciful enough.

Looking up in my rush to get out of everybody's way, I caught sight of Edward's unruly hair. The bronze shades were visible as the light shone down on them.

A smile turned the corners of my lips up, the pain becoming a thought in the back of my mind.

Following the lunch crowd, I decide today would be the day to eat lunch.

For the first time it seemed.

I let my steps slow me down, ending up being the last one in the hallway.

I didn't exactly want to see Jake at the moment. I was in no condition to make him mad—just asking him for another beat down.

The air conditioner picked up audibly and I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself.

The pang of ache in my left side, seared. I had to grind my teeth together to keep from screaming out.

I rapidly blinked back the tears. Jake would not have the satisfaction of seeing me cry from what he did to me.

The hurting slithered under every inch of my skin. I yearned to strip in front of a mirror so that I could study every bloody bruise that colored my battered torso.

Looking up, I found myself face-to-face with the Cullens.

Edward was in the middle of four people, standing slightly hunched over. His green eyes captured me, the color swirling with emotion after emotion—fear, confusion, worry, need.

The last one caused me to blanch.

His eyes became instantly smoldering.

I felt the air deflate from me, forcing my side to ache in order to pull in more oxygen.

"Hello," A female's voice rang clear through my mind, though I was transfixed in Edward's eyes.

I turned to find Alice standing beside a blonde. She was swinging her arms back and forth.

She smiled gracefully at me, before gliding over. Her arms draped themselves around my waist, tightening in a deadlock.

I smiled slightly, before gasping involuntarily. Her arms pressed brutally against my worst bruise, the searing fire ablaze with such force I felt my legs wobble.

The ground looked very inviting at the moment.

She wrenched back to look at my face. Her eyes were deep but scrutinizing. I blushed before directing my attention to the speckled wall across from us. It felt as if Alice was holding a camera, the zoom button zeroing in on my face.

"Bella! How are you doing?! You're eyebrows look damn good!" She added, placing her fingers against her lips as she lightly giggled. She was like a Barbie doll.

"I'm doing fine. Haha, yes I do like my eyebrows." I smiled fully now, voice flushed with happiness. She spun around, pointing to the group of beautiful people behind her.

"This is Jasper, my boyfriend." She pointed. He was tall, built but still sort of lanky. His smile was friendly and he seemed like a very decent guy.

He stretched out a hand, I went out to shake it. As I did, the sleeve of my shirt rose up on my wrist, revealing a glimpse of one of my bruises.

Before I could pull back fast enough, it caught Jasper's eyes. He appeared pained almost, taking a step back again. Aligned next to a stunning blonde.

I plastered on a smile, acting like absolutely nothing had happened.

Alice gazed at me warily, her fingers rubbing around the circumference of her own petite wrist. She had seen for sure.

Who else had seen?

Alice cleared her throat, before continuing. Jasper and Alice were glancing at me funny while the rest just smiled.

"This is Rosalie," The stunning blonde. Ahh. Model for sure. "Emmett." Whoa, hold on the muscles there. He could easily kill someone. "and of course, Edward." She nudged me in the side.

Ouch, ouch. I coughed. Alice's brows furrowed, confusion engulfing her emotions.

I was letting out too many hints. I had to leave before Alice jumped to conclusions and figured it out.

"It's nice to meet you." I said honestly. "So are you all family?"

"Yes. But each of us is adopted. Rose and Jasper are brother and sister while me and Edward are brother and sister." The only one out of the loop was Emmett.

He just kept on grinning like a loon—obviously not caring.

Glancing around, I realized we were the only ones standing in the hallway.

"I really shou—" I started to say, gesturing with my hand toward the other direction. The exit.

"You should come over soon. Like tonight maybe?" Her eyes sparkled with excitement; while her legs bounced up and down, almost spring like.

"Umm."

"Please? We can chill, eat popcorn, watch a movie, spray silly string at each other." Emmett's face lit up at the mentioning of silly string. I couldn't help but bust out in a gut-wrenching laugh.

"Okay, okay." I agreed before she stepped on my toe with those killer shoes of hers.

"Just not tonight." I added, watching as Alice's face fell. I quickly tried to think of a way to make it up to her. "I've got tons of homework." I said, my tone light and happy.

I was looking forward to a sleep over with Alice that was going to be one heck of a night.

"Put your number in my phone." She said, shoving her Iphone into my palm. I typed in the digits of my lonely number before handing it back to her.

"Here is my number." Alice chirped, pressing a piece of paper into my palm. I nodded once before slipping the paper into my back pocket. "We'll see you later."

"Right." She smiled before grabbing Jasper's handing and dancing off.

"Wait," Edward called out to me, hand now on my arm. He was oddly close. I stared deeply into his eyes, willing him to figure out everything in this one second. To save me.

"Are you going to lunch?" As the question lifted from his lips, I heard my name being called from behind me.

"Baby," I realized it was Jake before I had even wheeled around. He sneered at me visibly, gluing his arm around my waist in a stance that clearly marked me as his. He leaned down to my ear, teeth grazing my lobe. "Be ready in your room twenty minutes after school."

Tears sprung from my eyes like a fountain. I bit into my tongue until the tears froze and a metallic flavor coated every inch of my tongue.

I mentally applauded myself for having said I was busy tonight. Otherwise, Jake would have made me pay dearly for making plans without his consent.

I smiled fakely, turning around in his arms. I kissed him deeply, before running my fingers across his cheekbone. He seemed eagerly pleased with my actions.

"Of course, honey." I said, kissing him once more before unwrapping him from me. He kissed the bruise on my neck, shoving my shirt out of the way, before heading into the lunch room.

I gazed up into two green orbs, staring at the hurt in them. The betrayal. I didn't understand.

Edward was the only one watching me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**!!!SEXUAL CONTENT!!!**

**WARNING**

I pushed further down on the gas pedal, definitely speeding now. Charlie would be so disappointed in me if he knew I was driving above eighty miles an hour while the speed limit was forty.

Yet, while I cared half-heartedly, my brain was screaming at me. Reminding me that I now had five minutes to get home.

I had to be ready.

I had to be there before Jake got there.

Taking the last left, I found myself at home. I parked brusquely, jumping out of the car. I left my book bag behind in my haste.

The gray sky followed me, taunting.

I fiddled with the door, forcing the key in before the door swung open.

The rain was pouring down now. A sheet of white that was almost ghostly.

I was panting from my exercise but, putting the ache in my chest aside, I flew into my bedroom.

I heard Jake's car pull up, the gravel crushing audibly from outside.

I was in full out panic mode.

I let out a screaming yelp while I chucked my shirt into the dirty clothes hamper.

The door opened quietly.

I was dead.

I tore at my pants, sliding them off my ankles.

The footsteps were pounding, like drums. Like hail.

Rain splattered against my sheets as I realized I'd left my window open earlier this morning.

Ripping my underwear, I left the pieces of cloth under my bed.

I was finally nude, standing in the middle of the room. I bowed my head as if signaling defeat.

Jake entered my bedroom, with a final shut of the door.

I glanced up at him. He was glaring at me yet I could see the lust swimming in circles.

Waiting to take advantage.

"Please, Jake. Don't do this. Not tonight."

"Shut up, you fucking whore." I blanched at his words, forcing myself to not step back as he strolled closer.

"Please." He growled out before punching me dead on in the stomach. I hunched over in pain, arms wrapped around myself.

Jake's fingers intertwined in my hair, pulling so that strands came flying out one after the other.

"You will do as you're fucking told, Isabella."

I whimpered from the pain.

"You're nothing but a fat cow anyway."

"Jake.." I pleaded as kicked sideways, hitting the left side of my ribs. The pain flowed, the dam breaking with such force it rendered me to be slightly unconscious.

I was slipping.

Green eyes.

Bronze hair.

Coffee.

_Edward_!

Jake's hands shoved me hard, forcing my chest to be squished against the floor. I tried to squirm out from under his grasp.

His feet stepped on my calves, stepping down with his weight till I screamed out. Afraid he was going to break my legs.

Jake lay down beside me, rolling over so that his mouth was positioned on my back. He licked slowly, saliva thickening my skin.

I heaved out a sigh, figuring he was almost done with me.

His teeth grazed a little too brutally before I felt his teeth bite down so violently he cut through my skin.

I screamed piercingly, thrashing in pain.

He continued to bite, his hand traveling over the roundness of my ass.

He pinched the skin before spanking me.

I yelped, crying into the hard wood floor.

His fingers rubbed against my clit, forceful but soft. Sending me into a state of pleasure that had me willing.

His hands callously flipped me over, fingers now pumping inside me.

Stiff, hot, vile.

I gasped, finding myself reaching the brink. The cusp. My hips took actions of their own, rearing up in search of more force.

He slithered down my body, penis pressing firmly against my thigh. He licked softly at my clit, repeating till I found myself squirming under the tightening in my stomach.

Just as I was sure I was going to come he stopped. Getting up.

I let out a wild sob as he left the room.

I listened closely, trying to detect what he was doing.

When he didn't come back a few minutes later, I felt myself relax fully. Muscles becoming still.

Jake came back soon enough, carrying a scarf in his hand. His other hand behind his back. He was hiding something from me.

He blindfolded me then, as I pleaded, scratched, bit. Nothing stopped him.

The blackness scared me, denying me access to what was going on.

Unexpectedly I felt something enter me. Yet something didn't feel right.

That's when it began. I felt the pressure. Building. Building. Building.

Water?

Some liquid. Entering me from my core.

I felt like I had to pee yet I couldn't.

The liquid kept pouring in, squeezing, pushing.

Turgor Pressure. Like in science.

Was he shoving water up me?

When I felt like I was going to literally burst, the liquid stopped pouring in.

The pressure never letting up.

The scarf was ripped away from my face. I looked down and cried out, screaming in terror.

Oh God. What the fuck did he do to me!?

Oh God.

Oh God.

My stomach was enlarged as if I was bearing a child. I looked huge—not large enough that I was afraid of something inside me bursting. But large enough to send me into a panic state of shock. I was distorted.

"What did you do?!" I screamed, anger ablaze.

"Oh, nothing, Bella. Just shot some water up you. It's not going to hurt you, darling. You're body is just holding an extra gallon or two of body water. We'll make it go away soon." He laughed darkly, picking me up.

"Jesus, you're heavy." He stood us up, slamming my back against his chest as he leaned against the wall. He forced my legs to bend in towards my stomach, fingers wrapping around my calves.

My core was pointing towards the ground.

Jake positioned us just right before I felt the head of his cock pressing against my opening.

I groaned in pain. The pressure was too much.

It was almost like douching—injecting water into the vagina.

He propelled himself inside me, rocking into my core hard enough that I couldn't find the energy to breath.

I screamed and screeched, flaying around.

Jake shoved a hand over my mouth, grunting like a pig.

"You have to pee?"

I did, I could feel the water dripping from me already. Trickling out of me.

I shook my head.

"Don't be a bitch. You have to pee don't you?"

I shrieked in protest as I felt myself slipping. Losing control.

"Piss for me, Bella. I want you to piss while riding my fucking cock. Come on."

I willed myself to hold it. To hold in the water.

Yet as Jake's fingers pinched my clit, his dick banged up inside me fully, I felt the liquid come oozing out.

It was just like peeing. Except as I looked down at the water emptying onto my hard wood floor, I found I was correct. It was water.

Tons of it.

Jake's hand kept pressed to my mouth as my stomach shrank back to normal. Liquid dousing the floor.

"My little pisser. That just makes me want to fuck you all over again." He sneered, sliding back into me.

_Your hand's coming down again_

I close my eyes and brace myself  
I only noticed your face  
No matter what you're gonna build my shell  
No matter what you're gonna build my shell

I'm falling (falling)  
I'm shedding my skin (my skin)  
But it's not time I'm told  
I am aware (am aware)  
Of what you mean by then

* * *

Hello everyone. Okay like i said before i would explain: So in this chapter Bella gets water shoved up her vag. Well yeah, pretty fucked up. *excuse my french*. Now, what Jake did to her was exactly like douching. Like back in the day where woman used certain things to clean our their vags. Mmhmm. Now this chapter is dedicated to a long ago friend who endured this...yeah this actually happened to her. So before you tell me it's not possible, it is. I just don't know how to clearly explain it to you what happened to her, because for one she didn't want to talk very much about it and two it did not personally happen to me. So i don't know all the full details. My friend is fine and living. :)

This chapter was one of the worst, and the hardest to write. But i think i captured just what a monster a man can be.

A HUGE thanks to me out-in-the-open ninja of a Beta-- R.M.J Lennixx. :D

So i know i told some of you that this chapter would be up monday but unfortunatly due to real life and the graphic scene in this chapter it took a bit longer than expected. So sorry. I will make it up. Promise.

**REVIEWS = LOVE**

So review! Let me know what you thought. Let's vocal our hate for Jake. :D

-taylorcullenforever


	11. Life Is Beautiful

HUGE THANKS TO MY NINJA BETA R.M.J Lennixx! You are brillant!

* * *

11

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Eleven:**

**Life Is Beautiful**

**Song: Life Is Beautiful by Vega 4**

I have recovered. Possible? I didn't think so, but standing here in the middle of the crowded hallway, I realized it must have been.

I hadn't seen Jake just yet, and I silently thanked God for keeping him away.

I still needed time.

I still needed to get my mind together.

I sighed happily as I found myself in the entrance of my beloved biology class. This was by far my favorite class out of all the ones I'd ever had.

Edward wasn't here yet but he would be soon. I had seen that tousled hair of his earlier, when he walked by the office.

Just catching a glimpse of him sent my heart into contorted palpitations.

He, himself, was going to drive me into the nut house.

I sat down cautiously, making sure my butt hit the seat gingerly. I still felt weird down there, like something wasn't right just yet.

Ugh, I shook my head vigorously. I kept remembering that night; sure it had been a few days but still. I remembered it as if it had happened only an hour ago.

I'd stayed home after Jake's little training session with me. Charlie had voice his concern, staying home also to wait on me hand and foot.

He'd advised that I be taken to the hospital. I'd thrown up at the thought, gripping his arms with my fingers, until he understood that taking me to the hospital was just not in the cards.

Charlie was now convinced that someone was hurting me.

_Finally!_

Why hadn't I told Charlie earlier? You may ask.

Yeah, well life is just not that easy.

Telling Charlie would be the equivalent of telling Charlie I was a full-time Go Go Girl. Haha, he would have a fucking aneurysm.

He'd see me differently, that's the reason behind me not having told Charlie—just yet. I was so afraid he'd be disgusted by me, by letting Jake do all those things.

Just as I felt I was going to swallowed up by the breaking dam of tears, Edward came shuffling into the room.

A guy behind me poked me, fingers digging roughly into my back. I fought back the bile as that feeling brought a rush of memories.

"I hear you give nice blow jobs for five dollars. Mind blowing my cock, princess?"

"Fuck off you bastard." I spit, stretching backwards so that my elbow could splinter itself into his ribs. He cursed slightly, hands pushing me away.

Edward talks to the teacher for a second, with a coffee holder in his hand along with—

My mind comes to a halt, my heart stopping dead in my chest.

Oh my Lord…please tell me that's for me!

I hope it is, and then maybe I'd know how he felt toward me.

Edward turns his head, eyes latching onto mine. He's smiles, face lighting up till he's practically glowing.

He is so beautiful.

"Ciao, Bella." Edward says, voice as always—melting honey.

"Come siete," I ask, hoping he knows Italian. I'd taken a few courses over the years, earning the ability to speak completely in Italian.

Edward sat down, scooting over to sling an arm around me in a hug. He looked a bit taken back.

"Conoscete l'italiano?" Edward said, causing everyone to stare at us awkwardly. I concentrated on not blushing.

"Sì, perché, lo avete pensato soltanto avete conosciuto l'inglese?" I ask back, folding a hand under my chin while I rested my elbow on the table.

He handed me a cup of tea, taking a sip of his drink.

My fingers coiled around the cup, inhaling the scent greedily. Edward chuckled at my antics, watching as I took a sip.

I instantly recognized the flavor—which was so very distinct. Like vinegar was a distinct taste.

It was my first drink I'd ever had with Edward—the Tazo Awake Tea.

How sweet.

"No, non ho saputo appena che avete conosciuto l'italiano. Questo fiore è per voi." Edward said. I gasped audibly as my cheeks flamed with the intensity of five fires combined. Edward pulled the red tulip from the table, holding it out to me.

My first thought was that he liked me.

But, I realized I couldn't be sure. He could just mean it in a friendly way. For Edward really was a true gentleman.

"For me?" I blurt out, taking the flower from him. The electric current returning as our hands brush.

The flower is absolutely gorgeous; it's scent wafting up into my nose.

Any other guy would have given me a rose, the flower that meant to be what every girl wanted.

Yet, at this moment I couldn't be more thankful for a flower that was anything but a red rose.

I held the flower to my nose, inhaling as the petal folded themselves around the tip of my nose, pressing slightly against my top lip.

It was so clean—so pure.

"Yes, just for you." He said, staring deeply at me. He pulled me in for a hug, arms secure around my body.

There was no pain in this.

"Though, the flower is no where as beautiful as you are." I sat there, wrapped up in his arms, not sure what to say. No one had ever, ever said such a nice thing to me.

Happiness flooded my system, causing me to press Edward tighter to me. Tears were building slightly as I sniffled before laughing.

"Thank you so very much. It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it." He pulled back all too soon. "One is fine, right? I mean, if you want more than just one I can do that. I wasn't sure what you wanted. I can get you a dozen next time."

Next time? Did that mean I should expect more flowers?

A smile placed itself upon my lips as I cupped his face in my hand.

"Edward," I sighed. "One is enough for me. I've—you—no one has ever done anything like this for me." I finished, restraining myself from the need to kiss him.

"Why not?" I'm at a loss of what to say. How do I tell him that I've never had many boyfriends and that my first boyfriend—Jake—took me as his whore?

"Because, no one noticed me enough to find something to compliment on." I say, hoping it's a good enough answer. With only half a lie along with half a piece of truth.

"Then they're missing out." Edward says, settling down close to me as he stares at the tulip lying fragilely in my hand.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Their house is gorgeous—truly. I've never seen such a piece of work before, even in my entire eighteen years of life.

It's whiteness shines brightly, standing out against the greenness of life that surrounds it. The white pillars that stand look like a protective shield, holding back everything except goodness.

The stairs creak as I step upon them, a few steps from the door. I smile happily, running my hand across the pillars as I pass them.

Birds are chirping all around, singing to one another. I can see a creak from here, far in the back. It's accompanied with dozens of frogs, their croaking reaching my ears.

The front door opens, Alice's tiny body flooding my vision. She's wearing a flowing purple dress that cuts down low, showing off her creamy skin. The purple brings out the color in her eyes, wrapping around her center where there are pearl-ish looking buttons trailing down the center between her breasts.

How does she manage to look so good?

I was wearing an outfit that covered up my bruises—most of which were now only a nasty yellow. My outfit consisted of black pants—dressy kind—with two shirts I put together in my haste.

Next to her Rosalie showed up, in a blue dress that made her look like the perfect Barbie doll, so pretty it hurt to look at her.

"Hey, Bella. How are you today?" I smile as she lets me inside. The inside is bright, open. The front room consists of a flat screen along with a few couches the color of different creams.

"I'm doing just fine. Thank you." I say, sitting down as everyone else appears. "How are you?" I ask Alice and Rose. They smile, Rose sitting on one of the other couches.

"Bella Swan!" A woman says, pulling me up from the couch. She smells of apples—crisp and delicious. I inhale, as she engulfs me in a tight hug.

"Hello." I reply, laughing. She pulls back, kissing me on the cheek.

"I've heard to much about you."

"All good I hope." I say, winking.

"I'm Esme. Edward's Mom." Oh, I mouth.

"It's so nice to meet you." She points to a man behind her. Now I see where they get their good looks from, Esme and this man are beautiful.

"This is my husband, Carlisle."

"I love your name," I shake his hand, as he chuckles. "It's very different."

"Thank you." Emmett and Jasper are here too. They hug me before resuming their place beside their girlfriends.

I glance around, noticing Edward is nowhere to be found. I smile half-heartedly, titling on my feet as an awkward silence fall over us.

"Where is Edward?" I ask, staring at Alice. She shrugs her shoulder, yet her sparkling eyes give her away.

"Come on, Bella. Let's have fun." She pounces on me, running us into the backyard. It's spacious full of trees and bushes, tons of green.

In the very middle is a trampoline, a big one. Big enough that I'm sure we can all fit, including Esme and Carlisle.

Alice hops up on the trampoline, hair swooshing behind her. I climb up behind her, rail digging into my hands as I throw my legs up.

I roll onto my back, body convulsing on it's own as Alice starts jumping.

"So, Bella have you seen the new Hannah Montana Movie?" I look over at Rosalie who jumping with Alice. She's smiling at me, tongue sticking out.

I laugh before getting up and jumping also. We sync our jumps, aiming to go as high as we can. I reach for the trees above us, lightly brushing the leaves at one point.

"Yes." I admit, only a little bit ashamed to have seen the movie with a friend. I had thought it was okay, could have been a little bit less cheesy at some parts. But you know, I enjoyed it. Thought about seeing it again, never got to it.

"Really? What did you think of it?" Alice asks, pushing me so that I scream, loose my balance, and land butt first onto the trembling screen holding us up from the ground.

"I thought it was okay." I shrug, dipping my head back so that the sun hits my face. The heat feels good, seeping through till I can feel my skin starting to burn.

"Hmm, everyone seems to like it." Rose murmurs, bumping into Alice.

"Oh Rosalie, let it go. Just admit that you liked it. Though you may hate Hannah Montana/Miley it doesn't mean you can't like the movie." Rosalie folds her arms across her chest and I laugh, pulling her down beside me.

She hollers lightly in shock, before rolling over me. I let out a breath, stomach flattening from her weight.

"Hey!" I say, chasing her around the circle. Alice's bent over, pointing at our blurry figures, laughing her ass off.

I huff, speeding up before I fall over, hand pushing Rose down with me.

Suddenly Emmett and Jasper are on the trampoline too, blowing bubbles at us as they hold containers of bubbles in their hands.

"BUBBLES!" Rose, Alice, and I shout, scrambling to catch each and every bubble. Unwilling to let any escape.

"Damn, yall are crazy!" Jasper says as Alice lunges herself at him, handful of bubbles popping in her palm.

Arms wrap around my waist, pulling me back. I turn my head to find Edward beaming at me, hand reaching up to tuck a yellow tulip behind me ear. He fixes it, making sure it stays there before kissing my cheek lightly.

The light breeze whips around my hair, sending more bubbles floating away from us. I squeal, squirming in Edward's arms till he releases me.

I reach for the bubbles, bouncing with all my might as they float away on the breeze.

I snort so hard I have tears in my eyes, stomach cramping with the force. Rose, Alice, and I collapse on each other in the middle.

The boys crawl over to us as the bubble liquid coats each of us.

I gasp at the coldness as Edward tucks himself into my side. Alice and Rose scream at Jasper and Emmett about their outfits.

Things grow still and we stay there.

On that trampoline.

In their backyard.

Bubbles stuck to our clothes.

Happiness seeping from our pores.

Life is beautiful.

_Life is beautiful  
We live until we die_

_When you run into my arms,  
We steal a perfect moment.  
Let the monsters see you smile,  
Let them see you smilling._

_Do I hold you too tightly?  
When will the hurt kick in?_

_I will hold you tightly  
When the hurting kicks in._

* * *

(Translations)

_Come siete_: 'How are you?'

_Conoscete l'italiano_: 'You know Italian?'

_Sì, perché, lo avete pensato soltanto avete conosciuto l'inglese_: 'Yes, why, did you think I only knew English?'

_No, non ho saputo appena che avete conosciuto l'italiano. Questo fiore è per voi: '_No, i just didn't know you knew Italian. This flower is for you.'

* * *

A/N Sorry this chapter got out a bit later than i expected--reality happened. :D

But i thought this chapter was a really nice break from the last serious chapter with Jake/Bella. This chapter actually wouldn't have happened without the song "Life Is Beautiful" by Vega 4. It's an AMAZING song and i found it from the My Sister's Keeper Trailer--it's really worth listening to.

I want to thank everyone who has reviewed up to this point, you people keep me going! I am so grateful and happy that this story has reached over 100 reviews! It means so much.

Pictures of Bella/Rose/Alice's outfits are on my profile! Go check them out!

REVIEWS = LOVE

-taylorcullenforever

p.s GO CHECK OUT MY STORY "MY BELLA CAN SING". THE BEGINNING ISN'T TOO GREAT TO START WITH BUT ONCE YOU GET INTO IT, I PROMISE YOU'LL FIND IT'S A STORY WORTHY OF READING--THAT IS ONCE YOU GET PAST CHAPTER 14. XD


	12. Author Note

I got a review with some questions from a person and she asked me to put up an AN in the next chapter but I went ahead and decided to answer some of her questions.

1) If Bella's got a boyfriend don't you think someone in her bio class would  
find it a bit odd that shes hugging another guy and receiving flowers from him  
in front of everyone?

_Answer: Oh, people notice. They just don't say anything and Bella's very unobservant about the things that happen around her. Jake's friends see that—what she's doing with Edward in class—and they say things to Jake. Yet, they don't tell Bella to her face that they've sold her out to Jake._

2) And just wondering... since when have you been able to take drinks into any  
science room especially not hot ones like coffee. And I don't remember any  
school I've been to where schools offer about a dozen different types.  
Also a few chapters back it's almost as if Edward and Bella just chatted and  
had coffee throughout the whole lesson, that wouldn't be allowed and if Edward  
was late for class how come he still had time to give her a flower and drink a  
nice coffee with time to spare. :S

_Answer: Actually, my school lets up take coffee in the classroom, along with Tea, juices, milk, anything as isn't alcohol or anything. haha. But it's a NEW school that was just built over here so it's like VERY different from regular school. You're also allowed to bring food into the class. So I'm really just going with the policies my school has. Haha, Bella and Edward DID just chat in a chapter or two. I'm also going with the way my school is with this also. Over here the teachers are very laid back, they don't care what you do in class as long as you turn the actually graded work in_. _So they could care less that you're not paying attention because when it comes time for a test or doing a worksheet, students end up actually going to their--the teacher's--homepage and having to read over all the powerpoints that they'd decided not to learn today. As for the Edward/coffee/time to spare question, PM me about that one for i'm not sure exactly what you mean--haha. _

3) What about the teacher? What about the rest of the class?  
If Jacob is as controlling as he was in the beginning how come he doesn't  
care now there's a guy after his girl and shes spending time round his house?

_Answer: The teacher as I mentioned before is laid back, like all of my teachers, as long as your quiet and non-disruptive you're left alone. The rest of the class is doing stuff like passing notes, whispering, messing around, texting, and making the moves when the teacher isn't looking. All of the things normal kids in class do. But you don't know that because this is a Bella/Edward story, meaning that I'm mostly focused on Edward and Bella when in the classroom. But a LOT goes on, around them. Edward notices, but Bella mostly doesn't._

_As for Jacob, well I wasn't going to let you know yet, but he knows that Bella's been talking to Edward. Accepting coffee, and the day Edward gave Bella the flower, he found out too from one of the guys in the biology class. And he plans on getting back, scaring her so that she stays away from Edward the next time she sees him. Jake cares—he cares a lot—he just hasn't let Bella know just how pissed is his about what she's doing or how much she's going to pay for it._ _But he doesn't know she was at Edward's house the night before, for he was out with friends—not staying over at Bella's to keep an eye on her._

4) If Jacob is meant to be controlling and sadistic how come Bella's had time to  
slip in italian classes in between it all. It takes years to perfect a  
language and I wouldn't have thought after all she'd been through she would  
have had to fit everything in :S

_Answer: In this story, Bella started learn Italian when she was only a child still living with Renee, for she moved in with Charlie when she was in her mid-teens. So she HAS spent years, perfecting Italian, and although because of Jake she doesn't still learn, she has spent enough time learning Italian that she hasn't forgotten everything's she learned._

Heather, if you have any more questions just PM me and I'd be happy to answer. and Thanks for letting me know your review was not a flame--that was nice to know. :D

-taylorcullenforever


	13. The Sickness

12

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Twelve:**

**The Sickness**

**Song: Ever by John Nathaniel **

Everyone's gathered in the front room, beside the glowing fire that hadn't been so easy to start.

I sat swathed in Edward's arms, so close to him I could hear every sound his body made—from his racing heart to his stomach gurgling slightly.

I felt his lips brush my head for just a moment but I closed my eyes, anyway, leaning into it.

Edward was so gentle with me, like I deserved nothing but the most undivided attention.

As I tried to focus on everyone playing around on the floor, my mind wandered off with thoughts of kissing Edward.

Checking my phone I saw I had a text from Jake:

_I'm coming by a bit later! Can't wait to see you!_

It was the two exclamation marks that bugged me. They told me something was up with him—he never used exclamation marks.

Turning to Edward, our cheeks brush, lips almost connecting.

"I need to go," I tell him, wishing I could stay longer. "But I don't know how to get out of the forest." He laughs then, smiling.

I try to concentrate as his fingers brush across my hips, picking me up.

I shrug on a coat given to me by Edward before watching him grab his car keys.

I say goodbye to everyone, giving hugs and kisses on the way back over to Edward.

His fingers latch between mine, pulling me towards the front door.

The chill is the first thing I notice, creeping up the jacket so that my arms are cold.

I wonder if Jake's already at my house, disrupting Charlie's game on the TV in a search to find me.

Will he be mad at me?

If he asks where I was tonight, I cannot let him know I was at the Cullens' house. For that, he really would kill me.

Edward slipped away into his car, starting the engine while I climbed into mine.

It only took us minutes to get out of the forest, but as I turned to go home—watching Edward to see if he would leave—Edward followed me this time.

As we got closer to my house, I panicked, sure my luck had run out and Jake would be waiting.

And when he saw Edward, he would shit a brick!

Edward honked while I pulled into the driveway, taking note of Jake's car not being here. Sighing, I stepped out, running over to Edward.

The window rolled down as he smiled at me, reaching out to ruffle my hair, slightly touching the flower.

"Thanks for escorting me home," I say, giggling.

"No problem," He says, nodding his head. I stutter for something to say, wondering if he's waiting for me to say something or just go.

"Well, goodnight, Edward," I say, backing away to start up the walkway.

"Bella!" he calls out when I'm almost to the door. "Will I see you tomorrow?" I walk toward him, till I can see his face.

"Yeah," I tell him lightly, wondering if Edward should leave already before Jake shows up.

Edward gets out of his car, walking up the steps till he's right in front of me.

He pulls me in close; hugging me so hard it feels like I can't breathe.

Tears want to fall but I blink, unwilling to let them fall. When he pulls back he sighs before placing a kiss on my forehead.

He leaves without another word, his car screeching down the street. I press my hand to my forehead trying to get myself to calm down—to hope that Jake isn't already here. Though his car may not be in the driveway, it doesn't mean he isn't inside.

I open the front door sliding through, I place the coat on the coat rack before I realize it's the one Edward handed me. Cursing slightly, I make a mental note to return it to him tomorrow.

"Bells, is that you?" Charlie calls out and I'm surprised that he's up past ten. I set my keys down before settling down on the couch next to Charlie.

"Yep." I smile, kissing him on the cheek. He grabs my hand lightly.

"How was your night?" He asks, switching channels—between a rerun of a basketball game and a rerun of football.

"It was nice. I had fun." I say, glancing around in search for Jake. God, I was becoming overly paranoid.

"Who were you with?"

"Oh, just Angela and Ben. We had a movie night at her house."

"Anything happen?"

"Not really. Well except for us getting bubbles and Ben spilling them all over us." I point to my clothes that reek of bubbles. Charlie laughs, shaking his head.

"I think I'm off to bed, right after I take a shower." I added. Charlie nods, waving me off.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I haven't received another text from Jake and it's starting to worry me.

I shimmy my way into a pair of sweat pants, untangling my hair so that I can get it into a ponytail.

I laugh when I fall, leg up in the air still caught on the bottom of my sweat pants.

Suddenly there's a knock on my door, the sound loud and clear. I gasp, scared like crazy.

"One second." I say, picking myself up before rushing across the room to grab a shirt. I pull it on, making sure my bruises are mostly covered.

I stand there for a second; breathing so hard I'm afraid Jake will get mad over it.

Then I remember the flower Edward gave me, I rush over to the vanity where it lies, throwing it into my panty drawer.

I open the door to find Jake smiling at me.

"Hey, honey." I say, reaching forward to brush my fingers across his cheekbones. Pulling him closer so that I can kiss him.

As long as I played it cool and acted like I loved him at the moment, I just might escape a beating tonight.

Jake kisses me back, arms draped across my waist as his foot kicks the door closed.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" He asks, pulling back. His lips glisten in the light.

"No, why?" I ask, my stomach tightening so hard I swear I'm going to explode.

"I've been hearing things." He says, dipping his head down to capture another kiss from me. Oh God, he's heard about Edward and me. Shit, shit, shit!

I run my hands across his back, hoping to distract him in the only way I knew how.

"Bella," He breathes, pressing me against the wall as his hands spread open my legs.

I grind myself into him; obviously working in my attempt to get him to forget about everything he'd heard—at least for the time being.

Jake lifts me from the floor, throwing me away from him. I gape at him, body splayed across the floor. What the fuck was that for?

The pain in my side kicks up, making breathing a little harder than usual.

"You think that if you fuck me I won't be so mad?" He spats, coming over to tower above me. His eyes are ablaze, hands balled into fists.

I'm choking on fear.

I push myself up; standing up the best I can while wobbling.

"Of course not!" I say, stumbling back as he takes a step toward me.

"Now, is there something you want to tell me?" He asks once more. I contemplate the outcomes.

If I were to tell him I had been messing around—Jake's way of looking at it—with Edward Cullen, he'd most likely beat me till I was in need of hospital care.

If I denied it maybe he'd let me fuck him—which would ultimately pay for what I did.

He probably didn't even know it was Edward Cullen I spent most of my days with.

If he was just trying to scare me with a fucked up prank of 'I know what you did this past week', it was working.

"No." I say, reaching out to touch him. He shoves my hand away.

"Edward Cullen…" He says, spitting across the floor. In shock, my mouth hangs open. Who told him? It wasn't like I was at lunch sitting across from Edward flirting right in front of his face! Someone had told him. Motherfuckers!

"Who?" I ask, playing dumb. He chucks me to the floor.

"You know damn well who! You little whore!" He says before his fist comes in contact with my thigh.

His knuckles leave marks as he shifts positions, kicking the side of my stomach. I roll over, curling into a ball to get him to stop.

He screams something at me, words vanishing in the sounds of my sobs and screams. I pray for Charlie to be able to hear me then realize music's playing from the CD player in the corner of my room.

I let out another sob, body shaking in pain.

"Shut the fuck up, slut." He says, pulling on my hair till I'm looking up at him. He eyes scrutinize my face, and I know deep down he wants to hit me here too. Yet he wouldn't dare, not after having lost control last time and almost blowing his cover when I had to go to school with a mangled face.

"You will not talk to him." I shook my head, knowing I couldn't not talk to Edward. He was the only thing that made me happy these days; I couldn't just give up on him.

He growled, punching my chest till I flopped down on the ground. I dug my fingernails into the skin of my chest, trying to distract myself from _that_ pain.

"He's just a friend! I can have friends, Jake!" I scream, using all my strength to prop myself up against the wall.

He laughs, eyes humored.

"You think you can have friends?"

"I know I can." I retort, fueling his anger.

"You can only have what I tell you you can have!" He pushed his finger into my arm, a sharp pang spreading.

"Stop." I whimper when he hits me again, dropkicking me. I stay on the floor this time, hiding my face with the curtain of my hair.

"Why should I?" He asks.

"Because," I start, realizing he's turned the music down. I sit up, wiping the snot from my nose onto the arm of my shirt.

I start again, hiccups interrupting. "Remember a year ago when he took me to La Push?"

"Yes." His face becomes soft around the edges.

"You took me out onto the beach and you wrapped a blanket around me. Then you twirled me into the waves, laughing when I freaked out and slapped you, remember?" I look up to Jake to find him staring at me like he's seen a ghost.

"You looked at me in the eye that day and told me you loved me. That you would _never ever _hurt me." I sob again. Trying desperately to wipe the tears away. "Yet, all you've done is hurt me, Jake. Why? Why me?" I wail, trying to ignore all the pain.

Jake stands there eerily quiet. Then he leaves and I'm scared he's gone to get Charlie's gun. I scramble to get up, to reach for the knife I had tucked into my mattress earlier this morning.

But the pain is too much and I can't reach it. I look around the room, hoping and hoping.

The door opens and there in Jake's arms are a dozen sandwich-sized bags of ice. I crawl away from him; scared he's going to freeze one of my fingers before slicing it off.

"Bella," He says, sitting down on the floor beside me. He grabs me and I shrink away, whimpering. His eyes looked tortured and I wonder what I've done to him.

He picks up an ice pack then places it against my thigh. I gasp repeatedly at the coldness and pain, noticing how Jake watches my face.

Without another word he scoops me up into his arms, placing ice over as many bruises as he can cover.

I sob out loud because I realize _this_—this person sitting before me—is _my_ Jake. The Jake I fell in love with so long ago.

He burrows his face in my hair as I cry, unable to stop, because I'm so afraid he'll hit me again at any moment.

Because I don't even know who he is anymore.

* * *

So sorry for not updating in like forever, life threw me lemons and juice got squirted in my eyes--therefore i could not see :D :P

REVIEW if you think Jake is an absolute motherfucker, or review if you think Edward and Bella should get together soon!

REVIEWS = LOVE

-taylorcullenforever


	14. Is There A Chance?

13

**Breathe You Out, Breathe You In**

**Chapter Thirteen:**

**Is There A Chance**

**Song: Ashes and Wine by A Fine Frenzy**

***~*~*~*~*~*~***

**Bella's Dream:**

_Jake hurls himself straight at Edward._

_Fingers curling around his soft, pale neck till his face turns a blue that scares me to no end._

_I'm screaming, voice carrying through the house, reverberating till all I can hear are my deafening screams. A sign that Edward is, in fact, dying._

_Jake's squeezing harder and now I'm sobbing. Stomach heaving so hard I'm spewing up bile._

_I clutch my rolling stomach, throwing myself on Jake's back. Trying, trying so hard, to get him to let go. To loosen his fingers._

_Edward's eyes are rolling into the back of his eyes. Lips curving around words that are silent as the night._

_Oh God, no! Please, Edward come back. Stay with me. Hold on just a bit longer._

_I suck in a needed breath before burrowing my face into the curve of Jake's sweaty neck. My lips curl over my teeth, his flesh soft as I bite down will all my might._

_Jake howls in pain, letting go of Edward and stumbling to the ground, pulling me along. _

_Edward scurries to get up, running out of the house and into the night. I scream for him, his name piercing through me. _

_Jake shoves me away from him, slapping me across the face, before running after Edward._

_Tears blur my vision, making it extremely hard to see. I wipe at them, wondering why they're fighting. Why Jake wants to kill Edward so much. I don't remember what happened, I don't know what happened, I don't know why._

_I find myself on my feet before I can make sense of the world swirling at an odd angle around me. _

_My eyes lock on Jake's figure that's hunched over Edward's—which is sprawled across the ground in the middle of the road._

"_Fucking stop it!" I bellow, before falling on my knees. They scrap against the cement as I crawl with all my might; body aching like Jake had beaten me before going after Edward._

_Except I can't remember anything that happened before __**this**__._

"_You cannot take her away from me! She is mine!" Jake screams, fist coming into contact with Edward's cheek. I cringe. _

_No, no, no, let Edward survive. _

_I want to scream again but I can't find my voice. What's happening? What's wrong with me?_

_I see Jake stomp off to a truck parked in front of my house, the back holding a few poles of metal. I sigh in relief, trying harder, now, to get to my feet._

_Edward's head rolls toward me, eyes locking on to mine. I smile at him, stumbling the best I can to get closer to him. To save him. _

_Jake roars, and my head snaps towards the sound. In his hand he holds a metal stick, the end roughly cut off so that it's sharp and pointed. Like a spear. _

_I can no longer breath, my own fingers clawing at my neck as I try to take in air. _

_Edward sees Jake and his face turns horrified. I scream out to him but it's too late._

_Jake hovers above Edward's broken body, pointing the sharp edge of the pole directly at Edward's body. _

_In one movement, Jake shoves the pole roughly into Edward's chest. Blood pooling beneath Edward._

_It's suddenly silent and I silently heave as I watch for Edward to move. _

_When he doesn't I scream and scream and scream. Knowing I could not save him. Knowing that I killed him. _

**End Of Dream**

My body jolts forward, the damp surface of my clothing clinging to my body.

A shrill scream escapes my cracked lips, causing me to start.

I'm shaking so hard everything in my vision seems to be shaking along with me.

I gasp for air, lungs expanding so hard it hurts.

Edward was dead, Edward was dead, Edward was dead, Edward was dead.

I can't think of anything else but Edward's dead body. Lying there so still.

I shake my head vigorously, almost screaming out again.

A hear footsteps from across the room, urgent and loud. A hand comes down on my shoulder and my coiled hand flies outward.

"Ungh!" Someone groans, stumbling back from me. I grit my teeth together, body stiffening.

My head turns and I find Jacob standing a bit away from me, clutching his nose. I glare at him, such hatred for this man coursing through my body.

His eyes widen, his shoulder straightening out. The scene in my dream comes flooding back with a vengeance and I shove my head in my hands.

"Bella?" Jake asks, footsteps coming closer to me.

"Fuck off." I spat at him, stomach rolling. I'm going to vomit. I press my lips together, rocking myself back and forth as I try to regain myself.

The dream had been horrible. The scene, the screaming, the blood, Edward's face.

I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my pillow and pressed it to my mouth. And I let it all out. I screamed as loud as I could, the sound muffled to the point where it wouldn't wake up Charlie.

What was Jake still doing here? Didn't he have to go home? Couldn't he leave me alone?

I glanced over at him to find him sitting on the floor, staring weirdly at me. Eyes wide, mouth in a frown, and his hands clasped together in his lap.

"What's wrong with you?" He asks, voice nothing more than a whisper. I stop screaming, throat aching and my lungs throbbing for air.

"What's wrong with _me_?" I laugh but it sounds on the edge of hysteria. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I stand up.

"I'm sorr—" Before he can finish I'm in front of him, fist connecting with the side of his face. He reels back from me; eyes squeezed shut and his nose gushing blood.

Anger colors my eyes red, causing me to lean forward—to hit him again. He whimpers this time, hands coming up to protect his face.

"Why do you hit me?" I screech, hitting him again. Harder this time, loving the feeling of his skin scraping against mine. Knowing that I'm hurting him.

Now I was waiting for him to fucking flip and beat me to a pulp.

"Huh?" I hit him again, this time kicking his side with my foot. He sucks in a stuttering breath, eyes staring at me like I'm going crazy. And maybe I was.

I was risking my own life by hitting Jake.

And, my God, it felt so fucking good.

"Why? You motherfucker!" I scream again, knowing this will surely wake up Charlie.

"I don't know." He yells back, trying to move away from me as I thrust my fist at him.

"You better fucking tell me!" I shout, finding myself absolutely going wild.

I didn't care anymore that Jake might hit me for this.

It felt so damn good. I could no longer find the will to stop hitting him.

Was this what it was like for him, when he hit me?

The adrenaline that shook you to your core and made this incredibly fun? Was that what made his beatings a bit more frequent every week?

I hit Jake once more, throwing in a kick also.

He was cursing in pain. I was loving every moment.

Pain shot up my arm on the last punch, causing me to stop. I studied my knuckles to find that they were now bloody and raw.

Wiping the snot coming from my runny nose, I found myself thinking about my dream once again.

Fear, pain, shock, all hit me at once. Sending me into a panic attack. I slumped to the ground, thoughts swirling around the picture of Edward dead.

I pressed my hand to my chest, trying to get myself to breathe.

Squirming on the floor I felt my head become lightheaded, so much, I had to lie myself down.

"Bella, Bella? Oh God, what have I done, what have I done?" Jake towered over me but I couldn't concentrate on his features, just his form.

I reached out for him, his hand latching on to my own.

This time I wasn't scared of him.

This time I knew it was _my_ Jacob.

This time I clung to him without the fear of him hitting me.

Jake rocked us back and forth, his breath hot on my skin, hands smoothing back my tangled hair.

He whispered things to me that I couldn't make out but wish I could. But as I curled into Jake's chest, it was Edward I yearned for.

It was Edward I sobbed for; it was Edward that I loved.

The scene of Edward's dead body looped in my head, again, and this time all I could see was blackness.

_Don't know what to do anymore_

_I've lost the only love worth fighting for_

_I'll drown in my tear storming sea,_

_That would show you, that would make you hurt like me_

A/N So sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I'd taken a little break from Fanfiction to write my novel but now i'm back. :D

I hope you liked this chapter. I thought it was time Bella got a little bit of power, along with a bit her of strength back.

**REVIEW** if you were freaking out over her dream, **REVIEW** if you think Jake got what he deserved, **REVIEW** if you're just dying for Bella and Edward to finally get together.

I should be updating again soon!

-taylorcullenforever

P.S Huge thanks to my awesome Beta-- R.M.J Lennixx. You rock girl!

* * *


	15. Blackout

Breathe You Out, Breathe You In

Chapter Fourteen:

Blackout

Song: Breathe Me by Sia

* * *

I needed him. It was clear now. Out of all the things I needed in life, I needed him.

I hadn't seen Edward in days.

Ever since my dream and the beating, I told Charlie I couldn't take anymore.

He didn't know what to say to me then, but now his eyes are scrutinizing.

More watchful.

I'd like to think of that as a good thing. Maybe he'll save me. Maybe he won't.

I lay on my bed, wearing nothing but a shirt.

My boobs ached, my vagina was sore, and my body didn't want to function anymore.

There was nothing like taking not being able to clean yourself daily.

My body was in such pain, that even the slightest brush of water from the shower caused me to just convulse in pain.

It was horrible. Tears swelled up in my eyes.

I just wanted to take a shower.

What was so wrong with that?

I brushed my hair from my face and reached over for my phone.

It blinked on, showing I had one missed texts.

I swallowed hard and pressed the message button.

The dreaded text popped up onto the screen.

_Jacob Black: Can I come see you?_

Was he allowing me to say "no" or "yes"? Like it's my choice?

I laid my phone on my stomach, letting my head fall back onto my pillow.

Too many choices.

Go to school. Don't. See Edward. Don't. Let Jake come over. Don't. Talk to Edward. Don't. Tell Charlie. Don't.

I was going to be insane soon.

My brain would fry itself.

I picked up my phone and texted back: _Jacob. I'm in too much pain. I can't do anything. I'm serious_.

I could only hope that he would let me off the hook, not get mad.

But with Jake, I never knew.

Rolling to the edge of the bed, I threw my feet onto the floor, trying to get up.

The first place I walked to was my mirror.

If I was being honest, I'd been avoiding my mirror.

Not that I didn't want to see myself, but because I didn't want to see the state of my new bruises.

Especially since they were formed on top of the older ones. Ugh.

They were almost done healing too.

I had been so close to looking somewhat normal again.

My phone buzzed just as I pressed a pale finger to the main purple bruise.

Right in the middle of my stomach.

I sucked in a breath and blew it out.

Whew, shit I'll make sure not to touch that one again.

I stumbled over to my phone, opening the text immediently.

_Jacob Black: Oh Okay, is there anything I can get you?_

I blanched, slowly shaking my head.

I didn't want anything from him.

Sighing, I dropped my phone, starting to cry.

I didn't know what to do, or say, or how to feel.

I was exhausted physically.

"Help me," I mumbled, crumpling onto my bed again.

I had to tell someone. I couldn't keep letting Jacob beat me.

Not with the way he was doing it.

Maybe I could keep it hidden better if he wasn't so brutal each time.

When I realized what I was thinking I scolded myself for realizing that I was thinking about "hiding Jacob" while he beat me.

But I was afraid. He could kill me.

I didn't doubt that he would.

I'm sure he would, I just had to piss him off to the point where fucking me and beating my brains out just wasn't enough.

I grabbed my phone and dialed the number.

Three rings.

Please pick up.

"Hello?" his voice rang, smooth and silky and familiar.

"Edward?" I chocked out, already sobbing.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Jacob beats me." I tell him.

On the other line, there's silence.

_Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
I'm needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me_

_Ouch I have lost myself again  
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,  
Yeah I think that I might break  
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

* * *

_

Hey everyone! I'm back for this story too and my other one "Something I Can Never Have"

This chapter was a slow one and a really short one. But I'm getting somewhere and I know for sure that I am going to be finishing this story.

But only with support!

:D **review** if you think Jacob should die (YES!) or review if you want Edward to admit his love for bella (YES!)

-taylorcullenforever


	16. Impossible

Breathe You Out, Breathe You In

Chapter Fifteen:

Impossible

Song: Impossible by Shontelle

I don't think he knew exactly what to say to me. Whether it was "I'm sorry," or "Oh my god."

And I didn't mind that he was at loss for words.

We'd stayed on the phone for ten minutes with nothing but silence surging through the phone.

Something inside me wanted him to say something, though. Anything. Even if it was just "I'm sorry."

Just something to know that he understood. That he got what I was telling him and that I did not need to say anything more.

_I remember years ago  
Someone told me I should take  
Caution when it comes to love  
I did, I did_

My fingers curling around the phone and I slinked down to the floor, leaning against the wall.

My chest felt less full, less heavy, less pressured.

I let out a sigh, my head falling back.

I'd never told anyone. Now I had.

I wondered if Edward would do anything about it or if I would find the courage to leave Jacob now.

Thoughts were racing through my mind, all of them reasons to break up with Jacob.

The beatings, the verbal abuse, the non-existent care, being with Edward.

The last one made me catch my breath. I focused in on Edwards breathing which was ragid and deep.

"Are you okay?" I ask softly. Not having enough energy to strengthen the sound of my voice.

_And you were strong and I was not  
My illusion, my mistake  
I was careless, I forgot  
I did_

"He hits you." He said it not as a question but as a statement. Tears welded up on my eyes.

I put a hand over my eyes.

"Yeah." I left it there. I would only give detail if he asked for it.

"How many times?" He questions, voice so smooth.

I felt comfortable right here with his voice in my ear.

"A week or a day?"

"He hits you more than once in a day!"

"Depends on the day. Or if I did something wrong." I say, trying to get up from the ground.

My skin crawled all over and I shrieked out in pain.

With all these bruises on my body, I wouldn't be able to do anything.

The pain was too unbearable.

_And now when all is done  
There is nothing to say  
You have gone and so effortlessly  
You have won  
You can go ahead tell them_

"Edward…" I croak out, crying again. "Will you please come help me. Please." I beg.

"I'll be over in 10." The line beeps and I drop the phone.

I tried to bend enough to stand but dropped down to the ground again.

Tears started coming faster.

Jacob, where was he when I needed him?

Where was _my _Jacob when I needed him?

Charlie couldn't help me because he'd put in a center.

A rehab center was not what I needed.

I wanted someone around me all the time that would love and care for me.

I wanted Jacob but I wanted Edward.

_Tell them I was happy  
And my heart is broken  
All my scars are open_

And when I realized I wanted Jacob, I couldn't get myself to not want him.

I was still in love with him, will all my heart.

He just wasn't here to love anymore.

_Falling out of love is hard  
Falling for betrayal is worst  
Broken trust and broken hearts  
I know, I know_

Eyes raw, I wiped at them before picking up my phone again.

My hands were shaking so bad by now, I could barely see the screen.

Numbers, words, nothing. A memory from my mind came out and I found myself spread out.

Thinking of Jacob.

"_Bella!" Jacob yelled at me, smiling. I couldn't ignore the faster than usual thudder in my chest. _

_I'd only seen Jacob twice already since we met at school but I already had my eye on him. _

_Walking up to him, I held my books tight to my chest. "Hey Jacob. How are you?" _

"_I'm doing just fine, hun. How are you?" I blushed and tried to laugh but he just laughed, placing a hand against my hot cheek. _

_His eyes were this deep brown, endless and beautiful. _

Thinking all you need is there  
Building faith on love and words  
Empty promises will wear  
I know, I know

_There was something that made looking away from them beyond agonizing. _

"_Jake," We both blanched, like a current was running through both of us with his name trigging a electric current. _

_I turned away, looking around the school, at the people walking past us. _

_His hand came out, wrapping around my own. I laughed out not knowing what he was doing as he smiled. _

_His hand pulled me towards him, till I was almost…just almost…against his chest._

_The smell of his cologne filled my nose. It smelt so good. I leaned it just an inch more. _

_I lifted my head to look at him. _

_He kissed me. _

_There in front of everyone, he pressed his lips against mine. Soft yet hesitant. _

_My first kiss. _

_His hands curled around my hair, brushing it back from my face. _

_Our noses touched before his lips covered mine again. _

_I pulled back, realizing my books had fallen to the ground. _

And now when all is gone  
There is nothing to say  
And if you're done with embarrassing me  
On your own you can go ahead tell them

_I bent over to pick them up then walked beside Jacob all the way to class._

_Fingers locked with his._

The door bell ring, bringing me out of my memory.

I hoped Charlie would get it. I didn't want to get up.

I was just fine right here.

Ears toward the door, I didn't hear the TV playing anymore. Nor the squeak of Charlie's chair.

"Come in!" I shouted out, the skin above my lungs on fire. Ouch.

The door opened. Edward's footsteps were frantic against the stairs.

Oh shit, I didn't have anything but a shirt and underwear on. I squirmed from my spot to try to find some shorts.

_I remember years ago  
Someone told me I should take  
Caution when it comes to love  
I did_

"crap!" I mumbled when I couldn't find any.

When my leg hit my bed, I screamed out.

Holy shit that had hurt. I had to be more careful from now on when I was crawling around my room.

"Bella! Are you okay!" Edward screamed, I think he was searching the bathroom for me.

"I'm in here!" I say, waiting as the door opens. Edward's beautiful face is the first thing I see and I smile.

Happier than I've been all day. Edward kneels down on the ground beside me. He looks scared and worried and freaked out.

_I remember years ago  
Someone told me I should take  
Caution when it comes to love  
I did_

I reached up, place a hand on his cheek, and smile.

"It's okay." He nods and swipes his hands over my bruises. Never touching them but more assessing.

I grab onto my arm, fixing myself into the most comfortable position I can get in at the moment.

In edward's eyes, I can see that he finally realizes that I really do need his help.

"I'll fix you." He promises. Sad.

"That's impossible." I reply. Looking into his eyes.

_Tell them I was happy  
And my heart is broken  
All my scars are open  
Tell them what I hoped would be  
Impossible, impossible  
Impossible, impossible  
Impossible, impossible  
Impossible, impossible

* * *

_

Hey Guys! This chapter took a bit to come out, seeing as i was busy at school while i wrote this.

So let me know what you think REVIEW! :D

-taylorcullenforever

REVIEWS = LOVE


End file.
